Memories of Meadowood: A Food Writer Recalls a Once-in-a-Lifetime Experience

By Heather Irwin
A staircase remains, Monday, Sept. 28, 2020, at the Restaurant at Meadowood, which burned in the Glass Fire, in St. Helena, Calif. (AP Photo/Noah Berger)

The three-Michelin starred Restaurant at Meadowood was destroyed when the Glass fire tore through St. Helena and the sprawling luxury resort on Monday. But far beyond the physical loss is the gutting of an iconic Napa establishment, where a young chef named Chris Kostow rose from obscurity to international notoriety as he built one of the most cutting-edge gastronomical experiences in the world.

In a heartbreaking Instagram post this week Kostow wrote, “We are all torn apart. A eulogy is deserved, and will be given in due time… for now, I want to thank all of the TRAMily that have ever graced this magical space — and all of the guests over the years who have enjoyed the efforts of these multitudes. What an honor it has been.”

The Restaurant at Meadowood, which also went by the acronym TRAM, was one of fewer than 20 restaurants in the United States with the distinction of having the culinary world’s highest honor, the three Michelin stars. That made it part of a Wine Country triumvirate of top-dog restaurants that includes Yountville’s The French Laundry and Healdsburg’s SingleThread.

For those of us who had that once-in-a-lifetime meal at the opulent Napa resort, the loss is especially upsetting.

Back in 2008, not long after Kostow took the reins, I wrote about my $661 dinner at Meadowood with a kind of wide-eyed astonishment that we experience far less frequently now, as world-class dining experiences have become available to us through magazine features and TV shows.

For my younger food writer self, the dinner was especially memorable. It was the first time I had the opportunity to write about a restaurant of that caliber and a meal that I would never have been able to afford was it not paid for by my employer.

At the time, I wrote, “This is the kind of food you eat once or twice in a lifetime if you’re lucky — plates so tweezer-precise that it feels like a sacrilege to degrade them with a fork.” I elaborated on each course, which included foie gras and strawberries, paper-thin smoked toro with caviar and chicken with cockle sauce. I summarized with these words:

“Kostow’s food pleases the eyes, nose and mouth, certainly, but wiggles deep down into the soul. If you take the time to explore each bite — to look at touch and smell; to appreciate each detail so carefully mapped out by the chef — it is transformative.”

And it was.

In 2008, culinary techniques like “sous vide” (cooking in a warm water bath), carefully curated wine and food pairings and even foams and powders were fairly revolutionary, especially outside of New York or San Francisco. Though Thomas Keller’s French Laundry and Doug Keane’s Cyrus (which closed in 2012 and is set to rise again in 2021) were also a heavy-hitters in the Michelin world at the time, Meadowood’s fairy tale-like property was a secret world of opulence. A visit felt like entering another world.

Though the owners of Meadowood have vowed to rebuild, the loss is poignant. It’s the bespoke kitchen that Kostow spent more than a decade perfecting, it’s the restaurant family now flung to the wind (like so many others), it’s the memories of a perfect evening spent being pampered and fed by one of the greatest chefs in the country and it’s one more loss for our region, torn by wildfires again and again.

No, Meadowood wasn’t someone’s home, and there’s no comparison to the thousands of personal tragedies all around us. But Meadowood was a special part of the Wine Country experience, and it’s a loss that will be felt for years.

‘I Love the Adrenaline Rush:’ Meet Fire Chaser Matthew Henderson

By Matt Villano
Wildfire photographer Matthew Henderson. (Photo by Coral Leigh)

As the Glass fire overtook homes above Rincon Valley early Monday morning, thousands of Sonoma County residents were watching the situation unfold in real time on Facebook through live video footage captured by fire chaser and photographer Matthew Henderson.

Henderson, who uses the social media handle OnFirePhotos, is a 46-year-old Dixon-based independent journalist who has covered every major fire in California since 2005, including the Tubbs fire in 2017 and the Kincade fire in 2019. He has more than 36,000 followers on Facebook and a reach of nearly 2 million viewers for his videos. Over the years, he has also garnered the respect of firefighters and first responders across the state.

Sonoma Magazine contributor Matt Villano recently caught up with Henderson to discuss his experiences in Wine Country this weekend, and his career chasing fires. The following is a transcript of that interview. Some of the answers have been edited for brevity and clarity.

Most people run away from big wildfires. You run toward them. Why?

My main purpose for being at these fires is to give people as much information as I can.

I’ve never lost a home to fire, but I can imagine being worried and not knowing, ‘Is my place OK?’ I’ve talked to a lot of evacuees in 15 years. They’re out of the area, they don’t know the condition of their house. If I can alleviate just a little bit of their concern by sharing images from where things are happening, I’d like to. If I can give that little bit of hope to people, that makes it worthwhile.

Another big part of what I do is to show people what it means to be a firefighter—what men and women are up against and the conditions they’re in when they fight these fires.

Photo by Matthew Henderson.
On Monday, people were asking you to check on specific areas and houses and you did. Do you always do that?

I do. A lot of times, I’ll check a block and let people know, ‘Yes, the houses are still there.’ Other times, someone sends me an address, I go check on it and their house is gone. That is hard. In those cases, I always take a picture, send it to them, and call. I tell them, in person, ‘Your home is gone.’

The resiliency of people is incredible. Most of the times when people lose their homes and I’m the first person to tell them, they say, ‘OK. Thanks. Now I can call the insurance company. Now I know.’

Do any of these conversations stick in your mind?

One time, I talked to this guy. He was a famous photographer, his house had burned down and he had lost all the precious negatives that were inside. If it was me, I would have been devastated. He was totally calm. Like, ‘I’m 75. I’ve had a great life. I still have those memories in my head. Those negatives were just sitting there anyway. We’ll move on. I’ll go take more pictures.’ That stuck with me.

Why do you broadcast the fires live?

I used to work at newspapers, and you can’t immediately interact with your audience when you’re doing that. What I love about Facebook is that you can see comments and questions in real time. I love that I can provide in-the-moment and on-the-spot information.


Matthew Henderson’s footage from Featherlight Place in Santa Rosa, at 11 p.m., on September 27, 2020. 


Matthew Henderson’s footage from San Ramon Way in Santa Rosa, on Sept. 27 at 10:30 p.m. 

You seem almost comfortable around fire. Why is that?

My dad is a retired fire chief out of Woodland. He retired back in 1989. I remember him coming home when I was a kid smelling like smoke. I remember wondering what he was doing, knowing he was a hero, but not really understanding anything else. I never got to see what he was doing. Then I learned.

Tell us about that. How did you get into this?

When I lived in the Midwest in my 20s, I used to chase thunderstorms and tornadoes. Then I moved back home to Dixon and I started working as a photographer at the newspaper in Woodland, the Daily Democrat. I started covering fires. Later I worked at The Reporter in Vacaville.

On the job, these fire guys outfitted me with safety gear and gave me training. I’ve never gone to official certification training, but I did a lot on the ground, just watching and learning. I’m the kind of person who, when someone with experience is talking, I shut up and listen. As I’ve covered more and more fires, I’ve had the opportunity to learn from great firefighters and chiefs.

Now that you’re an independent journalist doing this, how do you get access to fire sites?

People recognize me from the videos. They let me through. I have press plates on my truck. I also have press credentials through the state of California. In our state, if you have credentials, you can go into any disaster scene. Only thing you can’t get into is a crime scene.

Photo by Matthew Henderson.
Photo by Matthew Henderson.
What’s your strategy as you approach a wildfire?

Once there are five or six other photographers standing next to me, I’m out. I want crews and firefighters to know that, when they see me, they can trust me. I know what I’m doing. I’m not going to put them in harm’s way.

My three main goals are: 1. Get home to my wife and three daughters, 2. Not put firefighters in danger, and 3. Get the information out. I’ll add that I don’t feel like I need to get award-winning shots of every fire. I just want to get the information out.

Do you work alone?

I have a team: It’s myself and two other guys. Their names are Adam and Cody.

Cody is my director. He is a firefighter. He watches things on radar and online. He’ll call me and tell me exactly where to go. This weekend, I was over in St. Helena covering the Glass fire and he called me and said, ‘Get to Santa Rosa now.’ He told me exactly what street to go to. I was there and waiting for the fire when it came through Skyhawk [on the east side of Rincon Valley]. During the Carr Fire in Redding in 2018, Cody knew where to send me to see the fire tornado.

Adam also works from home. He watches wind conditions and will fill me in about that. Sometimes Adam comes out with me, too; sometimes you see him in the videos.

What is the craziest thing that you’ve seen in 15 years of covering fires?

Sometimes I feel like I’m the grim reaper when I show up in places. That fire tornado in the Carr Fire was unbelievable. I walked around that neighborhood, and block after block was on fire. I must have walked a mile down this one main street, and every side street was on fire. I remember thinking that this is what it must have looked like in the middle of Baghdad when we were bombing there.

What do you like about this? Why do you keep doing it?

It’s definitely a passion. I love it. I love the adrenaline rush. It’s spectacular and beautiful and awe-inspiring to watch these things. It’s hard to talk about a wildfire being beautiful, especially when it’s taking lives and homes. But when you’re out in a forest and a fire is going and it’s silent and all you can hear is the fire, it’s a pretty amazing experience.

What does your family say about this hobby of yours?

Every few hours my wife texts me, ‘Are you still alive?’ I always try to text her back. She used to watch the live videos like everybody else, but she doesn’t watch them anymore. A few times, I was live streaming and the fire came close—that freaked her out. Still, she supports me in anything I want to do, including putting my life at risk to get this information out there.

What’s in your kit? What do you take with you when you do this?

I have full safety gear—the same equipment that firefighters are wearing. I bring a pack, gloves, and a fire extinguisher. I’ve also got a chainsaw in the back of my truck, and a whole lot of electronics, chargers and cameras. Probably $6,000 worth of stuff.

Do you have another job?

I am the operations manager at a local hardware store. On Monday, I left Santa Rosa around 3 a.m., got home around 5 a.m., got three hours of sleep and then worked a full day.

People keep saying the fire situation is getting worse. To what extent do you agree?

The biggest thing that has changed in the 15 years I’ve been doing is the property destruction. You look at these areas and a lot of the places that burn are relatively new construction. People are building houses into nature and then the fires come and burn them down. As far as the number of fires, I don’t think there’s much change. California history is full of horrific wildfires all the way back to the early 1900s. That’s nothing new.

You certainly have been spending more time in Sonoma County. What’s your take on that?

I was on the ground during the Tubbs fire. I’ve been here for the others. It’s a roll of the dice, man. You have to figure that an area that hasn’t burned in a long time is going to burn at some point, and Sonoma County has a lot of that unburned land. Napa, too.

You go up that road to Angwin, for example, that road scares me every time I go through there. Properties haven’t been cleared and there’s overgrowth and undergrowth. Sooner or later, that whole area is going to burn and people are going to get hurt and there’s going to be a lot of loss of property.

What will the rest of this fire season look like?

I think this week will be a hard week, with depleted crews chasing fires all over the area for multiple days. After that, it’s weather dependent. As it always is.

Finally, how much longer do you think you’ll be doing this?

Well I don’t see myself doing wildfire TikTok videos. No, to be serious, it gets harder and harder every year to go into work after two or three hours of sleep. I love doing this and will do it so long as I can.

You can watch Matthew Henderson’s fire videos and photographs here: facebook.com/onfirephotos

Sonoma and Napa Fires: Photos, Live Updates, and Maps

By Grace Yarrow
Santa Rosa fire
Dozens of people parked along Rincon Ridge Dr. In Fountaingrove at sunrise to watch northern edge of the Shady fire make its way down to Calistoga Rd. on Monday morning, September 28, 2020. (Photo by John Burgess/The Press Democrat)

Updated on Oct. 6, at 5 p.m. 

What You Need to Know

A force of more than 2,700 firefighters are battling the Glass fire in Sonoma and Napa counties after fast winds, in combination with extremely dry conditions, fanned flames on Sunday, Sept. 27.

As of Tuesday the fire had engulfed 66,840 acres, according to Cal Fire, and has been contained by 50%.

The cause of the fire is still unknown. Cal Fire officials are investigating ignition sites of the three fires which merged together.

Resources are stretched thin due to other fires burning in the state. Across California, more than 18,700 firefighters were battling 27 major wildfires, officials said Wednesday, Sept. 30.

At its peak, more than 50,000 Sonoma County residents were under evacuation warnings and orders. Now, many are able to return to their homes in evacuation areas.

As of Tuesday, structural losses included 314 homes in Sonoma County and 290 in Napa County.

Red flag warnings over the weekend concerned fire crews in terms of containment. Luckily, there is a 25% chance of a quarter-inch of rain in Sonoma County this coming week, which could make the fire season less destructive.

Air quality in the North Bay varies by day and location, but it’s important to continue checking to keep track of whether or not it’s safe to go outside.

Local residents are encouraged to stay indoors as much as possible with windows and doors closed until the smoke subsides and air quality improves.

The information above was sourced from our sister publication The Press Democrat.

Listed below are links to useful resources.

Live Updates and Maps

Read live updates regarding evacuations, containment and fire locations here.

To see a map of fires in Sonoma and Napa, click here.

Click here for a live map of air quality in the North Bay. Search for your address or zip code to find information specific to your location.

A real-time map and forecast of wind gusts in the area are available here.

Evacuation Zones and Evacuation Centers

View an interactive map of evacuations in Sonoma County and the North Bay here.

For information about evacuation areas in Sonoma County, click here.

 

For Evacuees and Survivors

Temporary evacuation centers are provided by the county. Click here for locations in Santa Rosa, Petaluma and Sonoma.

Even if you haven’t been ordered to evacuate yet, consider packing a bag so you have time to gather the necessary items. Click here for a list of recommended items to pack with you in case of an evacuation.

For large animal evacuations, visit the Sonoma County Fairgrounds website here. Instructions on what to pack for large animals are also available there. More information is also available on the Sonoma County website here.

Redwood Empire Food Bank has a “Food Finder” service to search for pantry items, hot meals and other food resources.

 

Power Outages

In case of a power outage, PG&E will update its website here. All PG&E customers received a notice on Monday to alert them of potential rolling outages. If power outages do happen, PG&E will put an estimated time that power will return on the website.

 

Coronavirus and Mental Health Resources

The North Bay is now battling wildfires amid a pandemic. For information about the novel coronavirus, such as the most recent regulations, and resources, such as how to access healthcare and testing and where to locate meals, housing and financial support, visit socoemergency.org/emergency/novel-coronavirus.

If you are feeling anxious, stressed or depressed due to these unprecedented circumstances, here are a few helpful articles and resources:

How to Manage Stress, Anxiety and Social Isolation During the Coronavirus Pandemic

Fire, Pandemic and Politics: How To Deal With the Stressors of This Time

Local Experts Develop COVID-19 Mental Health, Self-Care App

211 Sonoma County: A free, confidential, 24/7 information and referral service and online database. Dial 2-1-1 or text your zip code to 898-211 for more help. 211sonoma.org/mental-health

NAMI Sonoma County: To reach the Warmline, call 866-960-6264 or email warmline@namisoco.org. Support groups soon available online, email info@namisoco.org for information

Sonoma County Crisis Stabilization Unit: 707-576-8181

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (for those who are more comfortable texting than talking)

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Psychology Today Therapist Finder: Look up therapists in your area and filter by your insurance and/or type of issue you are dealing with. Most therapists are offering phone or online sessions during this time. psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

Sonoma County Online Meetups for Alcoholics Anonymous: sonomacountyaa.org/online-meetings

National Domestic Violence hotline: Staying home may not be the safest option for those experiencing domestic violence. Call 1-800-799-7233 or text LOVEIS to 22522 for support. thehotline.org/2020/03/13/staying-safe-during-covid-19.

Headspace and Insight Timer: Meditation apps with guided meditations for all levels, including meditations focused on dealing with feelings related to coronavirus.

Photos and Videos from Wildfires in Sonoma and Napa

By Sonoma Magazine Staff
Glass Fire
A home burns in the Glass fire, Sunday, Sept. 27, 2020 near St. Helena. (Kent Porter / The Press Democrat) 2020

A force of more than 2,100 firefighters are battling the Glass fire in Sonoma and Napa counties after fast winds, in combination with extremely dry conditions, fanned flames on Sunday night. Click through the above gallery to see photos from this past week, and view videos below. Get live updates here.

Local Winemaker Supports Next Generation of Female Farmers

By Dana Rebmann

When Judy Jordan sold her revered J Vineyards and Winery in March 2015 to E. & J. Gallo Winery she could have retired and traveled the world. But she had a passion, a plan, and maybe just as important – patience.

Jordan, who had founded J Vineyards and Winery in 1986 with the support of her father, Tom Jordan, had earned a long list of accolades for her high-end sparkling wines by the time she sold her winery. She had also found a renewed sense of inspiration and energy from a mentorship program for children of winery employees. Now she was ready to combine her two passions — winemaking and mentoring — in the next chapter of her life.

“It was the right thing at the right time and I could feel myself changing and being ready for this new act,” said Jordan.

But making a difference, much like making good wine, takes time.

A new nonprofit

Jordan’s dream finally came to fruition — she launched a nonprofit, WG Edge, dedicated to advancing the next generation of women in agriculture. Along with workforce- and leadership development programs, the nonprofit provides young women with scholarships and internship opportunities. The first scholarships were awarded in 2019.

So far, nine women attending Santa Rosa Junior College have received WG Edge scholarships. While the SRJC’s Doyle Scholarship covers tuition, WG Edge provides what it calls “wraparound funds” to cover necessities like housing, food and transportation so that women students can stay focused on completing their education.

“We want Sonoma County to be successful agriculturally. Not necessarily all in grapes, it doesn’t have to be. It can be farming, floral, animals,” said Jordan. “We just need to keep our community vibrant and this is one way to contribute to that.”

To provide mentorship and connections, Jordan also has gathered a group of women of all backgrounds and ages who meet regularly to share ideas. Before the coronavirus, they would get together at in-person events like career mixers. Now, they meet virtually and, despite the circumstances, the network continues to flourish.

Wine with a purpose

To fund her nonprofit, Jordan is doing what she does best: making and selling wine.

Jordan’s new wine label, Geodesy, comes with a tagline that sums up her mission: “Drink well. Do good.”  All profits from the wines go toward WG Edge — the goal is to create a “social enterprise” where the sales from a small amount of very high-end wines can support the program on an annual basis, ensuring that it remains financially sustainable.

To make the wines, Jordan has gathered people from her J Vineyards team and she uses grapes from vineyard estates in Sonoma County’s Petaluma Gap region, Napa Valley and Oregon’s Eola-Amity Hills and Chehalem Mountains. The wine label produces just a few hundred cases per year. Current releases include Pinot Noir, Chardonnay, and a Napa Valley red wine blend with Cabernet Sauvignon, Cabernet Franc, and other varietals.

“If this continues to be successful, imagine what good that does for the community,” said Jordan. “We end up with these strong, powerful young women who understand agriculture and who, in and of their own right, will bring back great things.”

Jordan’s estate-grown “wine with a purpose” is available on the Geodesy website. Costs range from $75 to $175 per bottle. Three levels of membership are also available. 100 percent of the profits support the young women of WG Edge.

4 Sonoma Wineries for an Authentic Harvest Experience

By Linda Murphy

Experiencing the wine grape harvest is a must-do for visitors to Sonoma County and an annual ritual for locals.

During harvest, intoxicating aromas of fermenting grapes welcome winery visitors; even pomace — the skins, seeds and stems leftover from fermentation — has its own inviting scent. Workers bustle up and down vineyard rows, cutting clusters from vines with jaw-dropping speed, reminding us that winemaking, at its heart, is agriculture and hard work. Trucks hauling bins of just-picked grapes delay impatient drivers along back roads. But they also suggest that the production of great wine takes time — so slow down, enjoy the scenery and the wafting fragrance of fermenting fruit.

These local wineries offer a taste of the harvest season. In all cases, appointments are required.

Benziger Family Winery

This iconic winery in Glen Ellen continues to excel at educating guests on how grapes are grown biodynamically and organically on its Sonoma Mountain estate. A seated tasting ($30 per person) is on the menu, with five wines poured on the patio for groups of up to six, Thursday through Monday.

The best way to view the estate at harvest time and experience its green-growing efforts, is the Tribute Estate Tour ($60 per person). It’s a behind-the-scenes look at how the vineyards are farmed using eco-responsible practices, with estate wines served along the way. Also available Thursday through Monday, for small groups only.

883 London Ranch Road, Glen Ellen, 888-490-2739, benziger.com

Kamen Estate Wines

Screenwriter Robert Kamen (“The Karate Kid,” “Transporter”) has a tasting room in downtown Sonoma; his winery is on the outskirts of town. For a harvest-time vibe while tasting his ripe, rich, top-tier sauvignon blancs, Bordeaux-style reds and syrahs, take a drive to his Moon Mountain District vineyard. There, at an altitude of approximately 1,200 feet and with sweeping views of Sonoma Valley and San Francisco Bay, guests sample four wines, served with artisan cheeses, after a tour of the certified organic vineyard. It’s a calming, quiet site, though the hubbub of harvest in the valley below can be heard and seen. The address and directions are provided at the time reservations are made. $80 per person.

707-938-7292, kamenwines.com

Lynmar Estate

The Sebastopol winery has a long history of pairing its chardonnays, pinot noirs and rosés with lunches prepared by its estate chefs, currently David Frakes. The open-air tasting room and patio are surrounded by an amphitheater of grapevines, including Lynmar’s signature Quail Hill Vineyard, as well as a bountiful culinary garden.

With fall afoot, Frakes taps the garden for ingredients for the Lynmar on Your Own Lunch Pairing, a premade meal for two that includes a half bottle each of chardonnay and pinot noir ($225 for two people). It’s offered at 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. Thursday through Sunday, with a maximum group size of six.

Depending on the day of a visit, guests might see grapes being harvested and fruit from other vineyards being delivered, smell the fermentations and see grape leaves, once a vibrant green, turning to autumnal orange and brown.

3909 Frei Road, Sebastopol, 707-829-3374, x102, lynmarestate.com

McEvoy Ranch

Harvest time isn’t limited to grapes. At McEvoy Ranch in southern Petaluma, fruit picked for vino is grown alongside olive trees used to make McEvoy’s world-class olive oils. This sprawling ranch blends a Tuscan ambiance from the olive oil side with a Sonoma winegrowing flair, best seen from a public walkabout tour ($55) through vineyards and orchards and commencing with a tasting of olive oils.

The Patio Lunch ($35-$45) includes a choice of one of three lavosh flatbread wraps and a sampler flight of wines, which might include rosé, pinot noir, syrah and cabernet sauvignon. Add to the lunch a tasting of McEvoy’s several estate-grown olive oils ($25), extra virgin and made from certified organically grown trees, and a loaf of bread for dunking. Visitors might catch a glimpse of grape harvest activity; the olive harvest typically begins in November.

5935 Red Hill Road, Petaluma, 866-617-6779, mcevoyranch.com

Pumpkin Turnovers, Jam-Making Classes and More: Things We’re Excited About Right Now

By Heather Irwin
A selection of products from Leslie Goodrich, owner of LaLa’s Jam Bar and Urban Farmstand in Petaluma. (John Burgess/The Press Democrat)

Pumpkin Time: With the first day of fall, Sept. 22, comes all things pumpkin. This year we’re ready! First up, Les Pascals has released its fall menu with pumpkin bichon, a sort of turnover filled with pumpkin. They’re also making pumpkin pot pies, pumpkin macarons and pumpkin bread. 13758 Arnold Drive, Glen Ellen, lespascalspatisserie.com. Have some other local pumpkin faves? Let me know by emailing heather.irwin@pressdemocrat.com

Jam Out: Learn how to make jam from a professional, with jam-making classes at LALA’s Jams in Petaluma in October. You can learn the basics of making your own awesome jams, from weighing fruit to processing in a hot water bath, and you’ll take home one of your own creations. New methods and tips will help you make great jam with much less work, LALA’s says. Face masks are required, and the classes are for one person or two people from the same household. 10 a.m. to noon on Sundays. Basic jam recipe and one jar of jam per person included. Call 707-773-1083 for details and to sign up. lalasjams.com/classes

Ultimate Boards: Fancy charcuteries and cheese boards have become Instagram stars lately, and one of the best local spots to order one is Field and Farm. Packed with seasonal fruits, local cheeses, meats, nuts and olives, they’re a gorgeous showstopper, even if it’s just a treat for your social bubble or your family. Their “Bountiful Board” runs about $100 and feeds four to five people easily. Smaller picnic boards are $40 and $60. Delivery for $10 to Santa Rosa, Windsor, Healdsburg, Geyserville and Cloverdale on Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Or pick up for free at 14 Matheson St. in Healdsburg. Order online at fieldandfarmboards.com

Get ready for pretzels and potato chips in your Reese’s candy. It’s been an extra-salty year, and binge snacking is a thing, so you’re welcome. Watch for the Reese’s Big Cup with pretzels or potato chips soon, with pieces of salted pretzels and potato chips mixed in with the peanut butter.

How To Help a Friend Who Lost Their Home in a Fire

By Carolynn Spezza
Tsiyani Escort, left, and Greg Pettegrew put work on a home that was razed during the 2017 Tubbs fire on Fairway Knoll Court in Santa Rosa’s Fountaingrove, as the skies are mired in smoke from the Camp fire in Butte County, Thursday, Oct. 8, 2018. (Kent Porter / The Press Democrat) 2018

Carolynn Spezza and her family lost their home to the 2015 Valley Fire. This article was originally published by KQED in October 2017. 

One of the things that surprised me in the wake of losing our home was the power of kindness to buffer threads of stress and sadness before they could take root and overwhelm our family. Logistically, the support of gift cards, coffee cups, blankets or a pair of scissors was invaluable.

However, it was kindness from those near and far, friends and strangers, that created beauty in the midst of ugliness and healing in the midst of despair.

Below are 15 tips we offer to those longing to support friends or loved ones navigating the treacherous path of rebuilding a life after home loss. Among these ideas, I hope you find a way of reaching out that feels meaningful.

With the needs so vast, rest assured that there is a way you can offer support that falls within your resources and skill set, even if you are pushed a tiny bit out of your comfort zone.

1. Support the debris removal process

Offer support in the coming months on the days the debris removal crew comes to clear the lot. This valuable support can be given by being present at the lot, hosting dinner at the end of the day or simply knowing the dates of debris removal and picking up the phone for a check‐in call.

Focus on quietly helping a friend feel seen and giving them an opportunity to verbalize a range of intense or confusing emotions. If relevant, prior to debris removal, offer to help sift through ashes for remnants of cherished belongings. If you are welcomed into this process, please note the following:

The sight of a lost home may be a sacred burial ground of a lost life. Focus on being a respectful guest with slow moments and quiet energy.

Allow your friend to remain the leader at all times. Ask where you should be and what you should pick through. Refrain from going into treasure hunt mode, even if the opportunity is compelling.

Wear a mask, gloves and either a government‐provided disposable protective suit or shoes and clothing you can discard afterwards in the trash. Invisible dust composed of remnants of insulation, metal and other toxins may otherwise be absorbed through your skin or breathed into your lungs. Ensure your friends wear protective clothing/gear as well. If they are weary, be vulnerable and voice that you care about their health. There is no time like the present to help them feel cherished.

During debris removal there may be little need to talk or fathom the experience of losing a home. Your value is being a rock of quiet, steady support.

2. Just listen

Sit in the discomfort. Do not offer a bright side. Finding a silver lining is their work, not yours.

Use your words to validate, not minimize. Refrain from saying, “It was just stuff.” For some people, they just lost their way of life. Sadly, they are probably also embarking on an insurance nightmare, financial ruin or both.

If finding the right words is a struggle, consider asking:

“What feels overwhelming today?”
“What is on your mind today?”
“What do you miss or feel angry about today?”
“What are some tasks you need to accomplish today?”

3. Show up to help clean

When a friend is moving in or out of a new living arrangement, offer to help clean — and offer to bring cleaning supplies. Insurance will likely not pay for this. Cleaning a house one must move in or out of in the midst of mourning a destroyed home can feel like just one more bitter piece of a new life a person is suddenly trapped within.

Not being alone in this endeavor can soften the sting and free up time to tackle other parts of an endless to-do list.

4. Ask how you can help even if you live far away

Support from those living afar is invaluable after a disaster because the natural, local network has been compromised. Nearby friends and family who would normally fill the role of helper may be walking around in a daze or scrambling to rebuild their own lives.

Within days of losing our home, a friend from my past tracked me down and firmly asked how she could help. Her question carried a serious, matter-of-fact tone. She was not going to let me wiggle out of receiving help.

I gave her a few options, and stunningly, she filled every single one — even the ones that were far from simple.

For instance, my friend found a circle of seamstresses at her mother’s church to replace special dresses and bonnets my daughters needed for a cherished annual pioneer event quickly coming up on the calendar, softening the ache of helplessness in my mama heart. She convinced me to give her a list of books and toys her friends could mail to my 7‐year-old daughter. Replacement books and toys started arriving right away, with gentle notes written by people we had never met.

When I failed to think of gift ideas for our 9‐year old daughter who is not into stuff, my friend pressed. She asked for permission to send art supplies and then inquired into what my daughter loved. I explained that she loved helping people and dreamed of one day working for the humanitarian organization World Vision. I shared how my girl wept over losing a jar of money in the fire she had spent years filling with allowance and fundraising money to send a wheelchair, mosquito nets and solar lamps to children overseas through World Vision.

My friend listened. Then she called World Vision. Seriously.

World Vision set up a special webpage for people to give money in honor of our daughter. Each day, our little girl watched the webpage as funds were raised to cover her goal, and then funds were raised far in excess. In the midst of staggering loss, that webpage made my daughter overflow in smiles, giggles and jumps up into the air when she was unable to contain her excitement.

A few months later our daughter, whose world was continuing to crumble, received a package from World Vision with her name on it. She opened it to find handfuls of thank you cards handwritten by World Vision staff. Just imagine the gasping. There could be no greater gift that notes from her heroes. They also sent a beautiful Christmas ornament that will forever hold a special place on our holiday tree.

5. Bring meals

Drop off a meal aligned with food preferences that is prepared in containers that do not need to be returned. Just for fun, throw in a box of ziplock bags or a roll of paper towels. If you are good friends, add a pack of toilet paper. What overwhelmed person doesn’t appreciate a pack of toilet paper?

Alternately, set up an online system for other people to bring meals via a website such as takethemameal.com.

6. Offer to host children for play dates or game nights

For me, one of the hardest aspects of the fire was managing a seemingly endless stream of phone calls, paperwork, driving and decisions amidst children so deserving of affection. There are no accolades for a person who pops a bowl of popcorn and plays Candyland with a child, but I hold it as a gift to the world, especially after a fire, when the world seems to be spinning ever so fast.

If helping children feel seen is one of your gifts, please do not hesitate to host children for fun days, board game nights or trips to grab a hamburger. Their parents could no doubt use a few hours of undisturbed, guilt-free productivity.

7. Share meals

Invite friends to your home for meals like breakfast on Saturday morning or dinners throughout the week. Try not to allow any guilt over your house being intact stop you from opening your home. Your friends may need the beauty and stability your home can offer.

Whether you prepare basic meals of spaghetti and salad or more elaborate fall meals with stuffed squash and pumpkin pie, kindness and warmth are always meaningful. (I apologize in advance if your guests act bitter and depressed. Try planning a card or board game as a focused distraction.)

8. Lend essentials

With permission, bring over a laundry basket of kitchen essentials to lend indefinitely. After the fire, a new neighbor brought over a basket of everything I needed to make tea and coffee, telling me to keep the items as long as needed. This collection enabled me to perform simple tasks, such as offering a child or guest something warm to drink. It felt like beauty manifested before my eyes.

9. Support clothes shopping with either childcare or companionship

Offer to watch the kids while a woman shops for clothing or undergarments. If she does not have children, ask if you can take her out for a nice lunch and coffee and shop alongside her. There is SO MUCH shopping that must be done. And this is not fun shopping.

Having a friend alongside can provide a measure of the solace and fortitude so desperately needed.

10. Gather gift cards

After the Valley Fire, there were days when gift cards lifted my soul enough to keep me going. I could feel utterly exhausted in my new life, with two weary kids beside me, but as I swiped a gift card to help pay for yet another cart of stuff, a feeling of kindness would fill my body. I knew I was not alone. I was seen and cared for ‐ both by people who knew me, and by people who barely knew my name.

In times like these, the power of kindness to help the weary feel seen and to summon fortitude is incalculable. Small gift cards for $25 or $50 are fine. It is partially the gesture.

In the wake of the Valley Fire, my sister collected masses of these types of gift cards from distant friends, family and Facebook acquaintances. When she saw tired women in the community, she would hand them a few gift cards. She had so many that she set up a little Christmas tree in her dining room to hang them from.

When women came over for brunch or coffee, she would tell them to take some, along with little packets of pretty socks and notepads she had purchased. (Notepads were for jotting down to-do lists, shopping lists and items burned to report to insurance companies.)

11. Consider supporting the purchase of wooden crates

One of the best decisions we made after we lost our home was to purchase 20‐30 wooden crates from craft and fabric stores. We lacked the time or desire to shop for permanent furniture, so instead, we used these.

We stacked them in closets for clothing, placed them on their ends for nightstands and used them in the living room to hold books and toys. They can also be stacked in two columns with space between with a board laid across for a desk. The versatility of these is indispensable.

We have used them in three houses, rearranging them as needed. Hopefully they will one day end up in the garage. Each wooden crates normally costs $12 to $15. Consider asking a fire survivor if you can purchase a few for drop off.

12. If you donate used items from your home, do it very carefully

Used items can be a blessing or a curse and thus must be given mindfully. Let me explain:

Receiving items from the homes of our friends was among the warmest, most moving aspects of life after the fire. One of my most cherished memories of this was receiving a box from a family living far away that was filled with meaningful items collected from their home. We received the box soon after we moved into what our family perceived as an ugly, gross rental.

It was obvious the family had walked around their home and chosen beloved items to send to us. There were beautiful homemade napkins that had graced their table, fresh beeswax candles, books written by authors they knew we loved, a cashmere sweater for our younger daughter, a dress for our older daughter and two shirts gifted to my husband.

Sitting over that box of beauty was a turning point for me. For months afterwards, when I felt discouraged over the new dull ugliness in my life, I would think of that enchanting box and feel better. I still think of it, the box with kindness, generosity and beauty folded within.

That said, receiving boxes of used items was usually a frustrating endeavor.

After the fire we received numerous boxes in the mail from friends and family of random stuff that we could not even donate to a thrift store in good conscience. Sometimes I would take the boxes to the garbage can and pour most of the contents directly into the trash.

Gratitude is one of my greatest gifts, but I could not believe all the random things people seemingly dumped on us, at a time when I possessed neither the time to process them or places to put them.

Consider: where is a person who lacks dressers or storage containers going to store a pile of random stuff, even if it may potentially be useful one day? If you do not absolutely love an item, your friend probably won’t either.

Give what will uplift, not weigh down.

13. Offer to help with paperwork

If your friend has insurance, offer to help with the personal property inventory. This is a soul‐crushing monster.

In the months after the fire, a friend invited me over and told me we could open a bottle of wine and work through this beast together. Recently, she offered to complete portions of the inventory on her own, portions such as pricing out items in a sewing box, in a laundry room or under a kitchen sink. Again, it is so lovely to not feel alone in this endeavor.

14. If you are a close friend living locally, realize that this may be a marathon, not a sprint

It will likely take years for people who lost a home to navigate the maddening insurance and financial process ahead, replace basic necessities and bring warmth back to a home. This can be a bitterly exhausting process for friends who did not lose a home within a disaster area.

Hold the space of your own experience as a survivor. Your life and friendships will perhaps experience deep loss as well.

Basically: Get ready. You may need to pace yourself.

15. Know that it is not too late; it will not be too late for at least two years

Last week, two years post‐fire, I completely broke down in exhaustion while sitting in the living room of a dear friend. Our attorney had just explained that despite the 300 pages of paperwork we have submitted to our insurance company, I have another 100‐300 more to go in order to obtain the balance of the insurance policy monies we seek.

I fiercely believe in steady process, mindfulness and not letting mean people sabotage my inner peace, but I snapped. I was shaking in fury.

My friend sat with me in my frustration and despair. She listened, offered to fill my teacup and ladled me out a bowl of soup.

My point is, it will not be too late to give kindness for quite awhile. This is a long haul.

It is a long haul of negotiating sadness. It is a long haul of learning nitty gritty details of debris removal, insurance policies, insurance law, hiring a reliable contractor amidst shortages, rebuilding, replacing government‐issued documents and working with a mortgage company.

It is a long haul of holding confused children. It is a long haul of shopping for things a person does not want to buy again. Sometimes, it is a long haul of navigating maddening absurdity.

There will long be a place where your help can create fortitude for those suffering.

There will long be a place where your kindness can heal.

Thank you for being a friend to those who need one.

5 Favorite Shops in Santa Rosa’s Montgomery Village

By Karen Kizer

Montgomery Village in Santa Rosa offers a unique shopping experience. Unlike most shopping centers, it’s home to favorite national brands as well as independently owned, only-in-Sonoma stores. Dotted throughout this outdoor shopping mall, you’ll also find great places to eat and drink outside or grab a to-go order. Here are five of our favorite shops in Montgomery Village. Click through the above gallery for images.

Íreko: The Japanese word “Íreko” means bringing varied things together to create a cohesive new result or energy. In line with this philosophy, designers James Rascoe and Micheal Webb have curated an eclectic mix of large and small finds for home interiors in this Montgomery Village store, like playful faux feather ottomans, exquisite marble base lamps and tables with lost wax metal detailing. Add in an Íreko-original table made around an Edo-period screen, and an oversized metallic-painted ceramic artichoke tchotchke and the new energy is flowing. The entire sales team also participates in the company’s interior design projects, and they’re happy to share their expertise with shoppers looking for just the right piece. Íreko, 424 Farmers Ln., Santa Rosa, 707-579-3700, ireko.com

The Classic Duck: Sourcing locally and abroad, the Classic Duck is a great place to find a gift for someone special, including yourself. The stock ranges from small gifts to home decor items like wonderfully oversized silk flowers, diffusers, kitchenware, indoor/outdoor art and even peace poles. And yet there’s more: handbags and clothing and other pieces. Oh, just come on in already. The Classic Duck, Montgomery Village Shopping Center, 2400 Sonoma Ave., Santa Rosa, 707-575-0755, theclassicduck.com

Adelle Stoll: Modern accessories designer Adelle Stoll’s combined retail and maker space offers an eye-catching line of modern bags, pillows and jewelry. Stoll, who likes to use felt in her designs, has lately pivoted to making face masks, designed to offer room for your lipstick to stay on! Fans of the Adelle Stoll line can look forward to an upcoming “next-level” sustainable bag, made from California-milled denim. We can’t wait! Adelle Stoll, Montgomery Village Shopping Center, 2405 Magowan Dr, Santa Rosa, 707-291-4484, adellestoll.com

Urban Garden: Find the latest in garden accessories, from solar lanterns to outdoor candles to seasonal decor, at Urban Garden. Great looking fiddle leafs, Monsteras and succulents are available, too, and so are fountains and fairy gardening elements. Urban Garden, Montgomery Village Shopping Center, 2313 Magowan Dr, Santa Rosa, 707- 543-7037, myurbangarden.com

Clutch: Clutch started as a handbag store in Healdsburg but has since added Santa Rosa and Petaluma locations along with a selection of clothing. You can shop curated finds like painted scarves and modern to classic pieces on the pretty side of casual. Quality brands of luggage (Lipault from France) Italian purses (Gabs from Italy) are available. CLUTCH, Montgomery Village Shopping Center, 2321 Magowan Dr, Santa Rosa, 707-843-7038, clutchhealdsburg.com

Stand Out On Zoom With Sonoma-Made Earrings

By Karen Kizer

With work, school and social gatherings continuing to take place in the virtual space, some of us are looking for ways to rock  the video conference square without having to put too much effort into it. Accessorizing for the screen by putting on a pair of earrings is a simple way to add some style to your next virtual meeting — Sonoma makers have you covered with a range of offerings. And now is a good time to support the work of local artisans. Click through the above gallery for details