There’s a whole part of Napa most of us never see. Hidden in the hills are incredible works of art, architecture and sculpture that stretch the limits of imagination. Trust me, I’ve seen some of them.

On Sunday, I’ll be heading to Quixote winery–a structure of mind-bending lines, brilliant colors and cartoonish proportions that has long been closed to the public. It’s part of an ‘insider’ tour of Napa I’ve been invited on through Taste3. If you haven’t yet heard of it, let me enlighten you…

It’s a meeting of a small group of wildly creative minds in the disciplines of art, food, wine, technology and performance art at Mondavi winery. Included in the three-day lineup: Musicians/sculpturists String Theory, radio host Michael Krasny, food chemist Harold McGee, The Kitchen Sisters, story teller Rives, Ben Roche of Moto, Eleanor Coppola, Andrea Immer Robinson and many more. (See the program)

Suffice to say, I’m pretty much wetting myself to be attending such a cool program here in Wine Country.

Check out the photo gallery tomorrow evening and my blogs from the conference.

Until then, Chow.

Not like you need an excuse to hang out on the patio and drink margaritas all day, but hey, thanks to the victory of the Mexican army over the French some 150 or so years ago, you’ve got one. So grab a glass, some chips, a Cerveza or two and tap into the salsa and mariachi-filled love fest that surrounds. Ole!

MARGARITAVILLE
When it comes to drinking margaritas (a favorite cinco-ritual) BiteClub has rather, well, simple tastes. Blended, fruity and never on the rocks. The cheaper the pitcher, the better. The more free chips that come while drinking, the better. The more tequila, the better. The more annoyingly inebriated people to watch? All the better. It’s about keepin’ it real, hombre.

Best bets for drinks
– Las Guitarras: Folks either adore this Cotati sleeper, or absolutely hate it. BiteClub happens to be a huge fan of the tasty seafood fare and the brain-freezing blended raspberry margaritas. 7384 Commerce Blvd., Cotati, 707.792.4380

– El Torito: Hit the bar and get yourself some paper bull-horns (kids usually get them free with dinner). Let the hilarity ensue. Pitchers tend to be a little light on the tequila. So order several. 5090 Redwood Dr., Rohnert Park, 707.206.9100. Outdoor seating: Ole!

– Old Mexico: A classic choice for east-county revelers. 4501 Montgomery Dr, Santa Rosa, 707.539.2599. Outdoor seating: Ole!

– Chevy’s: Let the kids in on the Cinco-vibe! Hands-down my rugrats’ favorite spot for, uh, chicken nuggets and balls of raw tortilla dough, Chevy’s does the faux margarita oh-so-well. With whipped cream, and in a glass the size of your head. 24 Fourth Street Santa Rosa, 571.1082 Outdoor seating: Ole!

– Cantina: Hands down the best people-watching on the Santa Rosa square. Especially if you’re under 25 and wearing a belly shirt. They pack ’em in like sardines, and the beer and margaritas flow like water. 500 4th St., Santa Rosa, 707.523.3663. Outdoor seating: Ole!

Further afield…
–Tres Agaves Tequila Bar: Killer margaritas and tequilas in San Francisco.
130 Townsend
San Francisco, 415.227.0500

Mexican in spirit
Russian River Brewing: TUMBAO performs Latin Jazz with Afro-Cuban Rhythms at the Russian River Brewery Company at 9pm Saturday. 725 4th Street, Santa Rosa, 707.545.BEER

GREAT EATS
Keep it simple. Keep it real. BiteClub’s favorite Mexican haunts-

La Texanita: Located on Sebastopol Ave., Texanita is a perennial taqueria favorite for locals, with constantly changing daily specials. Avoid the obvious: A serious burritophile friend got burned by the lackluster pollo asado. Weekends are for serious eaters, with posole, menudo and goat on the menu. 1667 Sebastopol Road, Santa Rosa, 707.576.8805

Taqueria Las Palmas: Chiles relleno combination plate ($5.80): Deep-fried delight stuffed with cheese. 415 Santa Rosa Ave, Santa Rosa, 707.546-3091

El Farolito: Fish tacos to die for. 128 Plaza Street Healdsburg, 707.433.2807

Taqueria Santa Rosa: Best bets for killer tacos (not the crispy kind, mind you). Carne asada rocks.1950 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa; 528.7956.

Taco truck tortas: Absolute best carne asada tortas are at the taco truck outside Joyeria Angelica on Sebastopol Avenue, Santa Rosa.

BRING IT HOME
Lola’s: From shredded beef to Mexican bakery items, you’ll find it here. Including, if you should need it, a whole pig’s head (“Cabeza de puerco” is how to ask for it) 440 Dutton Ave # 17, Santa Rosa, 577.8846, or 1680 Petaluma Hill Rd, Santa Rosa, 571.7579.

Raley’s: 12-pack of Mexican beers, $10.99, chili butter, $2.99 and Tia Lupe’s Tamales $3.99.

Pacific Market: Coca-cola, lard and orange juice carnitas. Oh, damn. My heart just lept. You have to make it yourself, but the roast is on sale for $4.99. Recipe is available from Wednesday’s Press Democrat, or at the end of this blog…

KISS ME I’M MEXICAN
Fun events to celebrate Cinco de Mayo
(All events on Saturday, May 5 unless indicated otherwise)

Mariachi Fun!
River Rock Casino: Live mariachi band from 5pm to 9pm. 3250 Highway 128, Geyserville.

Cinco De Mayo at Robledo Family Winery
Chef Maria Robledo prepares authentic Mexican food with Robledo Family wines. Entertainment includes live Mariachi music and Traditional Folkloric Dancers. 21901 Bonness Rd. in Sonoma, Ca $55, $40 for wine club members from noon to 4pm.

Windsor
Celebrate Cinco de Mayo on Windsor Town Green (9455 Bell Road). Entertainment: Ballet Folklorica Sarita, Orquesta Borinquen, Children’s Crafts. Free. 5pm to 8pm. Call 707.838.1260 for details.

A thoughtful Cinco
– Take an Eco Tour of the Kunde Estate with Jeff Kunde. And, if nothing else, work off those chips and salsa. $75 and pre-registration is required. 707.282.1531

– Cinco de Yoga Open House
Games, free 45 minute classes and aromatherapy foot massage, plus smile-inducing Laughter Yoga, truly tangled Twister Yoga, yoga pose demonstrations and Limbo Yoga to Calypso guitar by Aldo Mosca. 577 5th St. West, Sonoma.

SERIOUSLY CINCO

And, of course, the biggest festival of all will be held throughout the day Saturday in Roseland. Get all the details at www.hcc-sc.org/cincoinfo.html

NICOLAS & EZEQUIEL’S CARNITAS
Carnitas, serves 6-8

6-7 pund (boneless or bone-in) pork butt cut into 8 oz. chunks
4 lbs. lard
2 Tbs. sea or Kosher salt
1 cup Coca-Cola (not diet!)
1 orange, juiced and quartered (use peel, juice & all)

Melt lard and carefully bring to a boil in a deep pot or Dutch oven. Carefully lower pieces of pork butt into the pot, a few at a time. Return to a boil, then turn down heat. Simmer uncovered for 2 hours or until meat is ender. Dissolve salt in 1/2 cup water and add it to the pot. Add Coca-Cola and the orange. Cook 10 more inutes. Remove meat from lard and pull meat from the bones. Serve with roasted tomato salsa, fresh tortillas, guacamole, lime wedges, rice and beans.

It has come to my attention that some of you don’t share BiteClub’s passion for bacon. Or foie gras. Or carnitas, sweetbreads, brick-grilled chicken or, well, much of anything that once had a face. And I get that. I really do.

But here’s the thing–vegetarian food is, for the most part, horrifying to me. I know this from experience. Bad, bad, horrible, soul-sucking, lentil-flavored experience.

Now, let me say that I applaud the enlightened contingencies of you who have a million political, health and karmic reasons for not eating meat. I don’t eat lamb or veal for exactly those reasons (don’t try to understand the logic). But I can’t help but feel incredibly concerned for the mental welfare of so many who suffer through day after day of bland, cardboard-tasting, poorly seasoned, tofu-laden, fart-inducing meat-and-dairy-free meals. Don’t even get me started on the whole idea of being vegan. I would sooner consider eating a tarantula than ever have to choke down another dairy-free carob brownie.

But, okay, I hear your concerns for BiteClub’s single-minded food focus. Life is more than rare steaks and tuna tartare. So, mindful of the meatless masses, I ventured forth to Govinda’s in Santa Rosa–a groovy vegetarian buffet frequented by equally groovy, vegetarian JC students.

I’m not happy about this, mind you. But I decided to do it for you.

Here at Govinda’s, the set up is pretty simple: You first hit a well-stocked salad station that would make a rabbit seize with delight. Crisp, beautiful veggies abound--a good sign. I will say with confidence that vegetarians do get the importance of not skimping on quality greens. The rest of the buffet, however, is less endearing, featuring steamed veggies, basmati and brown rice, a vegetable curry, fettucini alfredo (seriously?) and two pots of watery dal.

Oh lord of pork-flavored products, save me.

Diving in, I’ll say that despite the lackluster presentation, I’m both warmed and encouraged by both the soupy veggie curry and the golden dal that slips off my spoon almost before I can get it to my mouth. Seasoning is not an issue here. The cooked veggies seem to stand at attention and dare you to ignore them. Here’s the shocker: Even the strange purple scoop of halvalah dessert wasn’t half bad. I have no idea what was actually in it, or why it was the color of an ugly bruise, but it was-let’s say, pretty edible.

Back for seconds? Let’s not go crazy here. But I’ll admit that my Govinda’s experience was enlightening (and not just because of the lady meditating to the annoyingly loud sitar music next to me). I leared that tofu dressing isn’t half bad. Maybe I saved a chicken or two. And, if nothing else maybe I balanced my karma a little.

Worth every bit of $8.50.

If you go: The buffet gets a little picked-over by 1:30pm, but if you hang around chatting long enough, they’ll get around to restocking. You can get a la carte items a little more cheaply, if you’re not hungry enough for the all-you-can eat buffet.

PS: Yes, I have been to Greens. I also happen to be very good friends with one of the most amazing vegetarian cook/authors of all time, Heidi Swanson, who I hear can cook up a mean batch of, well, stuff that doesn’t have meat in it. See, we can all get along. Check out her website.

Govinda’s, 1899 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa, 707.544-2491

Brunch is so ho-hum. This year take mom for a seaside afternoon, an
eco-hike, or a day of pampering in Petaluma. Then, have brunch.

Seaside getaway to Bodega Bay
Eat: Bodega Bay’s Seaweed Café hosts ‘7 Courses in May’, a menu featuring Andante Dairy cheese and Peay Wines at 6pm, Sunday May 13, $130 prix fixe, seven-course dinner including four wines. 1580 Eastshore Road, Bodega Bay, 707.875.2700.
Do: Take an afternoon ride along Route One, from Tomales through Valley Ford, and on up to Bodega Bay. Go for a barefoot stroll along Portuguese Beach.
Gift: Send mom home with a bag of salt water taffy from Candy & Kites, 1415 Coast Highway 1 Bodega Bay, 707.875.3777.

Petaluma spa mama
Eat: Go stand in line at Della Fattoria (141 Petaluma Boulevard North, Petaluma, 707.763.0161) to get mom a lush Valrhona chocolate mocha to start her day off right. Then hoof it over to Hallie’s (125 Keller St., Petaluma, 707.773.1143) for a take-out order of corn cakes and Cajun sausage. Keep warm and serve in bed.
Do: Drop off mom for an afternoon of pampering at Petaluma’s newest spa, Spatini, where she can get her nails did and her kinks worked out in style. 6 Petaluma Blvd. North Suite A-1, Petaluma, 707.762.3055. Then, stop in for a taste of whatever Chris and Jason are pouring at Vine & Barrel, 143 Kentucky St., Petaluma, 707.765.1112
Share: An afternoon of walking up and down Kentucky St. and Petaluma Blvd. doing a little window shopping at the tres chic boutiques.

Sonoma Valley gourmet escape
Eat: Grab a seat on the patio of the uber-cool El Dorado Kitchen, right near the pool. The kitchen will be serving brunch on Mother’s Day from 11 to 2:30pm. Even better? Take mom later in the afternoon for an exotic cocktail and appetizers. 405 First St. West Sonoma, (707) 996-3030.
Stay: Les Petites Maisons are adorably cozy cottages for rent a stone’s throw from the Sonoma Square. 1190 East Napa Street, Sonoma, 800-291-8962
Do: Madame de Fromage leads cheese lovers on a regional taste tour of artisan cheeses at from 1 to 3pm on Saturday, May 12 at the St. Francis Winery. $60 for the public, $40 for club members. 100 N. Pythian Rd., Santa Rosa, (800) 543.7713 x 255
Gift: Grab mom a few slices of delightfully stinky cheese from The Cheesemaker’s Daughter, 127 East Napa Street, Sonoma, 707 996 4060. The tiny shop will cut to order, and offer up samples if you’re curious. Don’t forget some crusty bread from Artisan Bakers, 750 West Napa St.

Healdsburg Wine tasting
Eat: Grab an early lunch at Zin Restaurant and Wine Bar–featuring comfort food just like mom used to make. But way better. Treat her to macaroni and cheese, meatloaf or a Cobb salad in the heart of downtown Healdsburg. 344 Center St., Healdsburg, 707.473.0946.
Do: While away the afternoon strolling through the downtown shops and tasting rooms, including Rosenblum Cellars, Thumbprint, Frog’s Leap and Seghesio. Have a little extra time? Head out Dry Creek Road to Bella Vineyards where mom can stroll through the area’s only public wine cave. 9711 W. Dry Creek Road, Healdsburg, 707.473.9171.

Santa Rosa Eco-Conscious
Do: On Saturday, May 12, send mom on a hike through Sonoma’s Kunde Estate while learning about sustainable winegrowing and local ecology. No reservations needed, and best of all, it’s free! Hikes begin at 10am at the Kunde tasting room.
Eat: Head back to Santa Rosa for some organic pancakes and tofu scramble at East West Café, (557 Summerfield Road, Santa Rosa, 707.546.6142) serving breakfast until 2pm on Sunday.

Sonoma: Coming up Daisies
Eat: Grab a light breakfast or picnic to-go at the flower-powered Blue Tree Café at Cornerstone Gardens. Don’t miss the wall of flowers. 23584A Highway 121, Sonoma, 707.935.1681. While you’re there, check out the forward-thinking landscape exhibit, intriguing nursery and garden knick-knacks to take home.
Do: On Saturday, head to Chateau St. Jean’s Fete De La Fleur, a celebration of spring with artists, music and flowers everywhere. 10am to 4pm, $15. 8555 Sonoma Hwy., Kenwood, 707.833.4134.

Off the Beaten Path: Why not take mom to a good, old-fashioned drag show! Donna Sachet hosts 45-minute brunch performances featuring stand-up, lip-syncing and a delicious buffet. Fun for the whole family at the bargain price of $35. Harry Denton’s Starlight Room, 450 Powell Street, San Francisco, (415) 395-8595.

Willi’s Wine Bar isn’t new. It doesn’t have a maitre d’, a cheese cart or a celebrity chef. It’s inconvenient to get to and the whole “small plate” thing can add up to a damn fortune.

But day after day, season after season, year after year, the cozy Santa Rosa bistro just keeps on cranking out sure-fire crowd pleasers that feel so-worth it. And for a jaded foodie, that’s about the highest praise a restaurant can get. Especially after dropping 90 bills for-um-lunch.

After nearly six years (a lifetime in the fickle restaurant biz) Willi’s doesn’t have to keep trying as hard as it does. Folks would probably keep going, just out of habit. But Chef Mark Stark and his crew do keep trying. Instead of just getting four small plates–filet mignon sliders with seared foie gras, the must-have macaroni & cheese, Dungeness crab tacos and Moo Shu bacon–we got four meticulously-arranged little works of art that tasted just as good as they looked. Dessert, which often seems such an afterthought, was even more beautiful. And, even more tasty–a plate of ricotta beignets with apricot crème, rosemary-studded pistachios and violet honey.

Now that the warm weather is upon us, the covered outdoor patio is a perfect spot to share a few glasses of wine and the camaraderie of crossing forks across the tiny plates. Even if it’s the tenth, or the hundredth time you’ve done it. Because every time is different, and so darned worth it.

Keep in mind: Voted Sonoma County’s Top Chef by you, Chef Mark Stark reigns over Willi’s Wine Bar, Willi’s Seafood in Healdsburg, Monti’s in Santa Rosa and a forthcoming steak house. Of the existing restaurants, BiteClub has found Willi’s to be the most consistently outstanding. Willi’s Seafood is a top spot for raw oysters, lobster rolls and stimulating cocktails. Monti’s has never found a spot in BiteClub’s heart, after several trips that suffered from poor service and uncharacteristically disappointing food.

Willi’s Wine Bar, 4404 Old Redwood Hwy., Santa Rosa, 707.526.3096
Willi’s Seafood, 403 Healdsburg Ave, Healdsburg, 707.433.9191
Monti’s, 714 Village Court, Santa Rosa, 707.568.4404

Chilaquiles. It’s been called the Mexican hangover cure for its amazing restorative powers. I call it the cure for whatever’s gnawing at your craw.

All the requisite mood/metabolism enhancers are present and accounted for here: Fried, spicy, cheesy and meat.

Vegetables take an appropriately supportive role in the form of guacamole (yes!), a tomato wedge (no!) and refried beans (yes or no, depending on the company).

La Texanita knows what you need, playah. Their version: A layer of super-thick fried tortillas swimming in green salsa, topped with chicken and lots of cojito cheese. Added benefit: Enough garlic to keep your enemies/unfortunate hook-ups at bay for days. Now that’s a cure-all.

Best bets: Located on Sebastopol Ave., Texanita is a perennial taqueria favorite for locals, with constantly changing daily specials. Avoid the obvious: A serious burritophile friend got burned by the lackluster pollo asado. Weekends are for serious eaters, with posole, menudo and goat on the menu.

La Texanita, 1667 Sebastopol Road, Santa Rosa, 707.576.8805

Chas Langley isn’t one for formalities. Standing in the barebones kitchen of Honey Biscuits, he hollers, “Now, make sure you get the Styrofoam plate in that picture. That’s kind of my trademark.”

“Uh, why?” I snap back with crumbs of sweet pastry (what he calls Fat Rascalz) flying from my mouth as I focus the camera on a plate of fried chicken and rice (trying not get the Styrofoam). “It’s not exactly environmentally friendly.”

“No it’s not, but it makes the food taste better,” he says with a sidelong grin. It’s a look that straddles between totally serious and absolutely messing with me. In this situation, I do what comes naturally. Laugh hysterically and try not to choke on my sweet tea.

Better not to argue with Chas. Just sit and eat whatever he feels like serving you. And feel pretty lucky for the opportunity.

Though it’s been around for more than two years, Honey Biscuits has remained well under the radar for some unknown reason. Serving up serious southern soul food–fried chicken, okra, red beans & rice, sweet potato pie, beignets, jambalaya, creamy potato salad, their trademark biscuits, sweet, fruit-studded Rascalz pastries and, well, whatever Chas feels like cooking that day–Honey Biscuits is little more than a tiny storefront in Cotati’s Grapevine shopping center.

There’s one communal table, plastic utensils, and a CD player you have to control your dang self. And that’s about it, aside from Chas (and sometimes his mom) serving up plates of food from breakfast through dinner.

But lest you think this is some gnarly Crisco-fest, Chas is quick to point out that he is, after all, from Marin. Southern Marin, to be exact, and all the produce gets delivered fresh from Laguna Farms and keeps the grease to a minimum. The Rascalz, in fact, are only 2 points on Weight Watchers. It’s his California contribution.

Nice to know. But this ain’t the time to be calorie-counting.

Best bets: Let Chas make you up a plate. It’s more food than you’ll ever eat and includes one of their lush honey biscuits for just $8. Beignets are made fresh on Saturdays and Sundays. All food is cooked to order, so don’t be in a fired-up hurry, now. Oh, and since you asked, he gets most of his recipes from his mom, who is also from Marin. But they’ve got family in Louisiana. Close enough.

NOTE: HONEY BISCUITS CLOSED A WEEK AFTER THIS REVIEW. DANG.

Honey Biscuits, 7981 Old Redwood, #D Cotati, 707.795.9000

Local is the new organic. Meaning that buying tasty little organic kiwis from New Zealand is nice and all, but you’ve just helped destroy the ozone with god knows how much jet and diesel fuel getting it here. You cad, you.

During the last weeks of April, locavores “activists who try to eat only foods grown within 150 miles “are trying something different. Called the Pennywise Eat Local Challenge, they’ll not only try to eat seasonal foods that are grown within the local foodshed, but also debunk the idea that you can’t eat locally on a budget. As in a little under $70 per person, per week.

Yeah, it’s pretty extreme, and frankly, probably hard for most of us to actually accomplish. What about coffee? (Sorry, no coffee plantations around here, although Ft. Bragg’s Thanksgiving Coffee or Sebastopol’s Taylor Maid are organic, sustainable compromises.) What about salt? Or locally milled flours?

When you get right down to it, even here in Sonoma County, where you can hardly sneeze without hitting a sustainable farm, eating locally isn’t as easy as it sounds. But are you willing to make the effort?

Here are a few places to start:

Pinnacle Market: A small market in downtown Graton that sticks to locally-grown, seasonal products. Produce, fish, eggs, bread, meat and cheese. “We’re the local version of Whole Foods,” says owner Janna Anderson. Open Tuesday through Sunday from 11am to 7pm, 9056 Graton Road, Graton.

Greenstring Farm: Beyond organic, locally grown and foraged produce. Incredible eggs. Greenstring Farm, 3571 Old Adobe Road, Petaluma, 707.249.0144

Food Routes: Where does your food come from? Check out this national efffort at Foodroutes.org

Local Harvest: Another national effort to bring together farmers and eaters

Five words: Phyllis’ Giant Burgers is open.

Don’t miss: The cheese steak is a monster of a meal, with green peppers, onions and juicy, greasy meat on a fresh roll. Homemade milkshakes of every flavor and hue make it worth the subsequent coronary. And, of course, there are the burgers. But you knew that.

Phyllis’ Giant Burgers, 4910 Sonoma Hwy Santa Rosa, 707.538.4000. Open 11am to 9pm daily.

Love your burgers? Check out BiteClub’s Best Burgers showdown.