Michelin 2011: Bay Area Bib Gourmand’s Released

Although Willi's Seafood got the Bib tag, it was actually the WIne Bar that won the honor
Although Willi's Seafood got the Bib tag, it was actually the WIne Bar that won the honor

Though chefs pretend not to care, the arrival of Michelin’s little red book each year is a Big Deal. It’s closely guarded critics rank Bay Area restaurants each year, doling out stars to the cream of the crop. And though there’s always plenty of Monday-morning quarterbacking among fooderati, a Michelin nod can mean serious cred for a kitchen. Losing a star can empty a restaurant faster than a mouse turd in the vichyssoise, and chefs have even been known to take it a little too seriously.
While toques sweat it out for the official announcements (scheduled for Oct. 26, 2010), the guide has pre-released it’s Bib Gourmand winners — tasty hidden gems where the price is right. (Officially, “the restaurant is an inspector’s favorite for good value. For $40 or less, you can enjoy two courses and a glass of wine or dessert (not including tax and gratuity)”.)
Winners were feted by Michelin staff tagging their sidewalks with a happy Michelin man (in chalk) — see photos.

Congrats to the following Sonoma and Napa winners:

Gone from last year’s Bib Gourmand lineup: Angele, Cena Luna (closed), Mirepoix (which has significantly changed their menu to reflect a more upscale experience since the opening of Bistro M), and Zazu.

Cooking for Date Night, Naughty ‘n Nice

Whipped cream for dinner, because Saturday night, with any luck at all, means date night. Date night – at least around our house – is at least as likely to mean a raid on the wine cellar and a bag of tricks from the farmer’s market as a babysitter and a night out on the town, because we live in a sleepy wine country town where most of the bars shutter their doors around the same time my kids shut their eyes and one comes to appreciate the somewhat arbitrary nature of the line between going out and staying in. On this particular Saturday night, however, we were staying in for a reason: My wife had just opened the doors to her awesome new dance school. If you’ve ever watched anyone open their own business (much less done it yourself), I think you’ll agree that there aren’t many better reasons to celebrate; and, if you like to eat (much less to cook), then surely you’ll agree that big celebrations and great meals flatter one another like familiar lovers, simultaneously habitual and new, relaxed and exciting, and, more often than not, about as much fun as one can have legally – in other words, both naughty and nice, and why you, too, should occasionally serve whipped cream, laced with vodka, lemon and salt for dinner (per usual, the recipe is at the end).

sweet, salty vodka whipping cream
Sweet-n-Savory, Naughty-n-Nice

For years, a celebratory date-night-at-home would have meant half a day prepping for some elaborate dish but, increasingly, I find my tastes, both in the cooking and the eating, reposed more toward the simple than the complex. In any case, on the Saturday in question, the choice was made for me, because between my wife’s open house and supervising munchkins, I barely had time for a quick sketch of a dinner: Something based on the palate of the season; something quick and easy; and something very adult, a little naughty even – this was, after all, to be a date night. And, in an ideal world, something suited to Champagne, for all the obvious reasons.
The farmer’s market really rocks this time of year, what with the tomatoes and peppers awakening from their cool-summer slumber, the wild salmon running, the various bins quite literally overflowing with the greens of beets, squash-blossom yellows, purple peppers and the dirt of freshly dug tubers. I grabbed a dozen eggs from the good folks Wyeth Acres (purveyors of good vegetables and even better meats, and who will deliver to your door if you ask them nicely), thinking that breakfast-for-dinner might be just the ticket: Eggs and Champagne are a classic combination, require very little prep, and remain a perennial house favorite. Add a loaf of Full Circle sourdough for toast points and some hours-old Yukon Golds from Foggy River Farms for a satisfying carbo-load and I figured I was done. Still and all, it wasn’t quite enough – after all, this was a celebration, a date night – because I wanted to dress up my country breakfast in a suave dinner jacket.
One of my all-time favorite recipes to steal from, particularly for special occasions, is Louis Outhier‘s fabulous Caviar Eggs, popularized (and I believe still served) by Jean-Georges Vongerichten at his eponymous NYC restaurant. However, I didn’t want to deal with the egg shells (Chef would have you use the shells for service – great presentation/major ass-pain), and I wanted to use the potatoes, so I figured I’d make potato gallettes, top them with creamy scrambled eggs, and garnish it all with Outhier’s outrageously decadent Salty Vodka Whipped Cream. A dollop of caviar on top – with its shot of dark color, bright, salty tang, and ability to shine with Champagne – would have been perfect but, for all the cosmopolitan development of our little wine country town, nobody had caviar. The horror! I should have thought of using some smoked salmon instead, for the same reasons, and serving it with a pink Champagne, but I was late and I suppose not entirely game-on; in the event, it wasn’t half-bad without the fish, although to be sure it would have been better with. I’ll get around to posting the full recipe (scrambled eggs are a chapter unto themselves – so simple, so good when done properly, and yet so frequently butchered in the kitchen), but for now, here’s my adaptation of Outhier’s topping. It is outrageously good and could just as easily be used on top of fresh berries for dessert as with eggs or caviar.
Salty Vodka Whipped Cream (adapted from L Outhier)

  1. Whip a half cup of heavy cream until stiff
  2. Whisk in a tablespoon of good Vodka and a large pinch of salt – maybe as much as half a teaspoon. It should taste savory, not sweet.
  3. Optional, and depending what you’re serving it over (e.g., impeccable with caviar, but skip the cayenne for berries), whisk in 1-2 teaspoons of freshly squeezed lemon juice (Meyers, if possible), a pinch of cayenne, and – if you want a little color – some very finely minced lemon zest.

Naughty and nice.

Giants Win, Garlic Fries Fail.

gordon biersch garlic fries at&t parkAnthony Bourdain once wrote – I believe I’m paraphrasing Kitchen Confidential, but I can’t find the citation – that anyone who cooks with pre-minced garlic should be sentenced never to taste fresh garlic again, and I have to agree: I adore garlic, but the stuff in the jar is just plain nasty and, unfortunately, it is all over the inexplicably famous Garlic Fries at AT&T Park. I seriously cannot imagine what the kerfuffle is about because, despite their undeniable cult following, all the foul-smelling frites do for me is turn a perfectly good $9 beer into $16 worth of mouthwash (don’t even get me started on the $7 ballpark price tag for the beastly little things, which makes the neighboring $10 airplane-bottle of Fetzer seem like a downright bargain).
It did get me thinking, however: Why is it that the stuff in the jar – presumably freshly cut and quickly sealed in its packaging – tastes nothing whatsoever like the cloves from whence it comes? It’s not just that the jarred stuff loses the rich fragrance and pungent sweet-hot bite of the real thing, although certainly that is the case; it’s that something baaaaad seems to happen after garlic has been pre-chopped and stored, as if all the distinctive sharp, spiky flavors of garlic flatten themselves out in order to make room for an acrid waft and a foul, bitter taste more redolent of rancid oil than a delightfully stinky rose. I don’t really understand how this happens, so I tooled around on Google and consulted McGee’s On Food and Cooking, from which I gleaned lots of interesting things about garlic, including…

  • Why it repels vampires (pungent, sulfurous flavor compounds evolved in the plant in order to ward off animals which keen on eating them before they could go to seed);
  • Why it turns blue when pickled (pH-sensitive anthocyanins and anthoxanthins, which also account for garlic’s status as antioxidant and homeopathic curative);
  • Why the method of preparation has such a dramatic impact on flavor (pressed, chopped, and whole cloves of garlic become chemically distinct, as does garlic cooked in oil vs. butter,  poached vs. roasted, and at high temperatures vs. low ones – all because of the volatile molecular behavior of sulfur-based compounds common to the onion family more generally);
  • What garlic breath is really all about (two factors, actually, including a close chemical relative of skunk spray that stays resident in the mouth right after eating, and sulfides apparently generated by the digestive process many hours later);
  • And – to get back on-thread – why storing garlic is generally a pretty bad idea (storing chopped garlic under oil, even airtight, encourages the growth of deadly botulism; and the undesirable effects of oxygen on the sulfur compounds otherwise protected inside the cellular wall).

Still and all, most of this explains why pre-processed garlic should have less flavor, but not really why it should taste bad. My pet theory, not entirely based on science, is that the intrinsic badness of jarred garlic is a consequence of two things: The degradation of the good flavors (this is well understood: some of the sulfurous compounds responsible for garlic’s trademark aromatic punch die out in contact with air); and the use of unsaturated vegetable oils as storage aids, possibly including the application of acids (in order to retard botulism, a worthy cause, to be sure, but not one conducive to a good garlicky taste), and which unequivocally contribute a bitter and rubbery note due to their more reactive nature.
Happily, it also suggests a way forward: Cheer the Giants, but don’t be suckered by the Garlic Fry hype, save your money for another beer. And when you just have to have garlic fries – I certainly do so, regularly and unapologetically – make them yourself, with freshly chopped garlic parsley cooked gently in butter, and for which I promise a recipe soon enough.

Burger Bar coming to SR

Inspired by the likes of BLT Burger (Chef Laurent Tourondel’s Vegas burgery) and Hubert Keller’s SF Burger Bar, Santa Rosa restaurateur Nino Rabbaa plans to open his own version along Third Street in early 2011.
The Parisian-born owner of Rendez Vous Bistro has tentatively named the planned eatery Downtown Burger Bar, which will feature everything from foie gras and truffle-shaved patties to vegetarian portobella burgers, buffalo burgers and gluten-free burgers for a total of 12 selections.
“We’re only going to have burgers on the menu,” said Rabbaa.
The casual-gourmet burger spot will take over the former Worth Our Weight and GG’s Earth and Surf space on Third Street near D St. An extensive remodel of both interior and exterior is getting underway. Rabbaa plans to have an open floor plan with a special area for children, a patio and fire pit.
The back of the restaurant is being renovated to provide a space for an in-house bakery and catering prep. Currently Rabbaa is working on perfecting the croissant for the restaurant’s breakfast service. Also in the works is a mobile crepe truck.

Primal Cuts: Marissa Guggiana

There is a story behind every hamburger, every steak and every piece of chicken or sausage you eat. More often than not, however, it’s a story we don’t want to know, best sanitized into neat, impersonal shrink-wrapped packages that sit obediently in our refrigerators.
It’s time to know the stories of our meat in all its raw, bloody glory.
Traveling cross-country to interview 50 of her cleaver-toting idols — from Michelin-starred chefs and high-profile meaterati to small family ranchers  — Sonoma County’s own Marissa Guggiana is the voice behind Primal Cuts, Cooking with America’s Best Butchers (Welcome Books, $37.50).
As a third-generation butcher, owner of Sonoma Direct (a butcher-shop and wholesale meat processor in Petaluma), Slow Foods advocate and leader of the national butchery renaissance, Guggiana speaks not as observer, but as both peer and admiring fan of these worship-worthy boucher.
If you don’t yet have a heady respect for the men and women who wield 8-inch boning knives with maestro-like grace, slicing through fat, sinew and bone easy strokes of steel, you will.
Many of the Bay Area’s meat superstars may be familiar: Taylor Boetticher of Fatted Calf; David Budworth (aka Dave the Butcher, a native of Santa Rosa); Christian Caiazzo of Osteria Stellina; Chris Cosentino of Incanto and Boccolone; Ryan Farr of 4505 Meats; Tia Harrison of Avendano’s; Morgan Maki (Bi-Rite); Jim Reichardt of Liberty Ducks; Ari Rosen of Healdsburg’s Scopa and Gerrit Van Den Noord of Sonoma Direct. Not surprisingly, the Bay Area has been a hot-spot for this re-emerging art, with the perfect storm of young chef talent, local ranchers and an ever-growing demand for humanely-raised, sustainable meat.
There are four things an animal must have: A good life, a good death, a good butcher and a good cook — someone who can dignify the animal and all those whose labors led it to the table,” says Dario Cecchini, considered the godfather of the current butchery renaissance, who wrote the forward to the book. Andrew Zimmern (Bizarre Foods) writes in the introduction, “The book you hold in your hands is one of the keys to de-codign, understanding and preserving culture on our planet as we know it.”
But rather than preachy gravitas, Marissa’s ode to pork, lamb, beef, goat, duck and chicken is a can’t-look-away book filled with well-worn recipes, illustrations and unfliching images of raw meat and white-coated butchers. A primal look at the food that fuels us, and a story of where that food comes from in all its carnivorous glory.
++++++++++++++++
As someone who spends much of her time at the altar of protein, it seemed fitting to ask Marissa about some of her favorite local meat hang-outs…

A recent meeting of Bay Area butcher-stars in Oakland
A recent meeting of Bay Area butcher-stars in Oakland

“I have to say that meat has a way of finding me. Charcuterie plates appear without an order and anything that represents  the most meaty expression of meat. So, when I do seek meat out, it has to scratch a deep itch for me,” said Guggiana. Here are some of her favorites:
Fatted Calf Charcuterie (Napa/Oxbow): Everything in their counter is made with such care, and bundled in white paper with red string. I’m a sucker for those details. And there’s the jerky at the register, which is definitely my idea of an impulse buy. 644 C First St., Napa.
Bovolo has John Stewart’s Black Pig Bacon, which is totally right on. The bacon trend is officially over, but bacon is still great. I think the extra cost for the good stuff is worth it. I try to thin of bacon more as a seasoning than an entree. (106 Matheson St., Healdsburg, 431-2962).
Scopa in Healdsburg pops into my mind first when I want to really have a meaty main course. I love Ari’s sensibility with meat. He appreciates slow cooking, which is very much up my culinary alley. Porchetta! 109 Plaza St #A, Healdsburg, 433-5282.
Gleason Ranch chicken is a local treasure. You can buy them from Oliver’s, the Santa Rosa farm market or from Sonoma Direct, my business, which is wholesale but also doesn’t mind calls from curious carnivores. They have juicy fattiness that reminds you of fields and Sunday supper and sustenance and is a completely different creature than anything that comes in styrofoam from the poultry prisons. gleasonranch.com.
Peter Lowell’s has great respect for meat. They didn’t serve it at all in the beginning, but everything they add to the menu is done with great care and respect. Fabulous lamb burgers. 7385 Healdsburg Ave. Ste. 101, Sebastopol, 829-1077.
Fremont Diner is a great anachronistic little nook. I always stop when I am driving to or from Napa, even if it is only for a bottle of water, I love the swinging-screen-door feel of the place. They source fine local meat and make pulled pork sandwiches, bbq, burgers and the like. 2660 Fremont Dr., Sonoma, 938-7370.
Osteria Stellina is one of my most cherished destination spots. I love Pt. Reyes on a Saturday afternoon. After eating many, many oysters at Drakes Bay or Hog Island, Stellina is the main event. Christian Caiazzo makes stew an elegant, special dish. Personally, I will take a perfect stew over steak any day, so my favorites are skewed in that direction.  11285 Highway 1
Point Reyes Station, (415) 663-9988.
– What more perfect iteration of stewed or braised meats is there in our county than the taco? I think El Molino Central (11 Central Ave (along Hwy 12), Boyes Hot Springs) the new spot in Agua Caliente is yummy. I love El Favorito for their green sauce and pastor (6466 Redwood Dr, Rohnert Park, 588-8013.
Rosso Pizzeria and Wine Bar is a restaurant I can eat at almost any day. The menu changes little but I have a very long attention span for delicious. The meat really shines in their daily special, often a roasted or braised dish that is supple and welcoming. (53 Montgomery Dr., Santa Rosa, 544-3221).
Sol in San Rafael is somewhere I will take any reason to stop and sit a while. Great Puerto Rican meat dishes of roasted chicken or thin thin thin pork chops. Plus its like youre on a tropical vacation that lasts as long as it takes you to eat a bistec encebollado. (732 4th St, San Rafael, (415) 451-4765).
Love the meaty stuff? Check out this article about SoCo’s last mobile animal slaughterer

Ode to Pinot: Pinot on the River Tix

CONTEST CLOSED. CONGRATULATIONS TO ALLISON AND THERESA. All the entries were terrific, and I would love to try and find a way to use them on a website…or maybe talk to some pinot folks about using them. They’re great. The sponsor chose the winners — so please don’t get upset at me.
+++++++++++++++++

How much do you love pinot noir? Start counting the ways.
Pinot on the River (Oct. 22-24) is a grape-stained weekend for serious pinotphiles culminating in the Artisinal Grand Tasting from more than 100 top-notch West Coast producers. These aren’t Styrofoam cup sippers, but seriously collectible and eminently quaffable wines like DuNah, Papapietro Perry, De Loach, Kosta Browne, Moshin, MacPhail, Merry Edwards, Patz & Hall,  Davis Bynum, Roadhouse and on and on…
And you could be part of the VIP sipping crew. How? It’s easy: Just create your own “Ode to Pinot Noir” in the comments below.
One winner will receive 2 VIP tickets to Sunday’s grand tasting (11am to 4pm) along with 2 seats at the Friday Night Out in the Valley Dinner at Roadhouse Winery in Healdsburg (8pm). One runner up will receive tickets to the Sunday tasting. More than 100 wineries are participating, along with nibbles from Rosso, BBQ Smokehouse Catering and Rodney Strong. (See full rules)
So start composing those odes! Find out more about Pinot on the River 2010 or buy tickets here.

How virtuous are your eggs?

(Note: Recently, I reported on a recent study from the Cornucopia Institute that rated 70 egg producers, including two local producers. The ensuing comments raised a lot of questions about how customers can wade through the confusion. This is the unedited version of a story that will run in the Press Democrat in the coming weeks. Some of it rehashes the original piece, but there is a lot of new information as well. Enjoy.)
With the recent nationwide salmonella outbreak linked to factory-farmed egg production, legions of wary customers are trolling the grocery aisles and farm markets for organic or pasture-raised alternatives as a safer or more sustainable solution.
Not surprisingly, a wealth of promises await in the ever-growing refrigerated section devoted to eggs. Hormone-free, cage-free, antibiotic-free, free-range, Omega-three enriched, cholesterol-reduced, and of course in a rainbow of colors from white to brown, green, blue and tan. But buyer beware, because because homey cardboard packaging, smiling farmers and empty promises of happy chickens don’t always mean well-bred eggs.
Eggs, like so many other foods, have fallen victim to the green-washing trend, being labeled with the latest catch-phrases that consumers want to hear. So can you make the best choices when it comes to your morning scramble? It pays to do a little research.
First-off, a few definitions are handy when it comes to egg education. These definitions are distilled from a variety of sources including the USDA, producers, and various industry publications and third-party studies devoted to organic egg labeling.
Organic: Laying hens must be fed an all-organic diet without byproducts or GMOs. To be organically certified- hens must have access to the outdoors and cage-free, according to the USDA. There have been exceptions to the outdoor-rule in California based on the risk of the birds contracting avian flu.
Cage-free: Hens are not kept in cages, but allowed to move freely. The passage of Prop. 2 in 2008 mandated that all California egg-producers be cage-free, by 2015. Cage-free, however, can mean many things. Large factory farms can have thousands of birds packed into barns with limited or no access to the outdoors. Others allow for plenty of room and full or partial outdoor access.
Hormone-free: This is a red herring. No hormones are approved by the FDA for poultry production.
Free-range, Pasture-Raised: Hens are allowed to roam freely outdoors during the day, Studies indicate these eggs may be higher in nutrition, but detractors raise concerns about the spread of avian flu to wandering animals and the possibility of birds inadvertently eating toxin and passing those along to consumers.
No-kill: When a hen no-longer produces eggs (usually about four years), they are often slaughtered. No-kill operations let the non-producers live out their natural lives.
Brown eggs: Brown eggs are not nutritionally different than white eggs. They, along with green and blue eggs, come from different breeds of chickens.
Vegetarian diet: This can be a bit confusing. Vegetarian chickens don’t exist in the wild — chickens enjoy insects and worms, so it means the birds probably don’t go outside. On the plus side, it also means their feed doesn’t include animal by-products like feathers, bone meal or beef tallow.
Antibiotic-free: Heavy use of antibiotics on chickens is unusual and very expensive for egg producers. Ultimately, it doesn’t mean a lot, but it certainly doesn’t hurt to know your egg isn’t pumped up with medicine and the flock is kept healthy.
Natural: A product that contains no artificial ingredients or added color and is minimally processed. Though regulated by the USDA, opponents argue that the term is too vague to be of much use.
Fertile: If roosters are kept with the hens, eggs are considered fertile. Often a catch-word for un-caged.
Humane, Animal Welfare, United Egg Producer Certified: There are a number of certifiers who audit living conditions. Animal Welfare Approved is the highest standard, but none of its certified producers sell to supermarkets. American Humane Certified allows for cage-confinement. UEPC certification allows for battery cages and beak-trimming, making it the least restrictive of the certifications.
Omega-3 Enriched: To produce these nutritionally-enhanced eggs, hens are given flax seed, algae or fish oil in their feed. This has no effect on the treatment of the animals or their organic-status.
Now that you know the lingo, it’s time to do a little self-examination. Labels can tell you a lot, but your own conscience will have to be your guide.
If animal welfare is your highest priority, expect to pay a premium (up to $7) for a dozen eggs. It takes a great deal of space and care to raise hens outdoors and larger producers — even conscientious ones — don’t usually offer pasture-raised birds. John Kearns of Healdsburg Farm Fresh Eggs, who has a small flock of about 150 birds, sells his pasture-raised eggs at local markets for about $6, and looks to two recent studies that give high marks to the increased nutritional profile of eggs produced by pasture-raised hens. “You have to eat 3 conventional factory farmed eggs to equal the same nutrition just 1 of my eggs contains,” said Kearns in an email. He is not, however, certified organic, which he claims is cost-prohibitive to a small operation. Local farm markets and farm stands typically sell non-organic certified eggs from pasture raised hens.
A recent study from The Cornucopia Institute recently released its Organic Egg Scorecard rating 70 egg producers around the country. The Institute looked for small-to-medium sized family farms raising pastured chickens sold under the farm’s name or to natural grocery stores. In Northern California, it’s highest ratings went to Alexandre Kids, Cresent City; Elkhorn Organics, Prunedale and St. John Family Farm, Orland. It gave “Very Good” marks to Clover-Stornetta Farms, which are American Humane certified.
If organic is your highest priority: Midsized and large farms can certify that their eggs have met the criteria for organic. Petaluma Poultry, a mid-sized family farm, with about 250,000 birds, sells under a variety of brands, including Judy’s Family Farm, Uncle Eddies Cage-Free Eggs, Rock Island Fertile Brown Eggs and Gold Circle DHA Omega-3 Eggs. All of the family’s hens are cage-free and their organic eggs are certified by Oregon Tilth, one of the most stringent certifiers. Owner Steve Mahrt, a third generation chicken farmer, was a pioneer in the organic egg movement, and was the first to be certified more than a decade ago. Petaluma Poultry’s hens are not considered pasture-raised, because the birds are kept to screened-in porches and their barns due to the threat of avian flu. “They can go outside in a controlled safe manner,” said Marht. Cage-free organic eggs usually cost between $3 and $5.
Go local: Something that nearly all Northern California producers agree on is buying eggs locally. Large factory farms can process millions of eggs per day, going to across the country under a variety of labels. Concerns about contamination, carbon-footprints and the welfare of hens packed into battery cages is a good reason to pay close attention to where your dozen hails from.
If price is your highest priority: Not everyone can afford high-brow eggs, but you may want to consider looking at your eggs with a more critical eye. At minimum, look for cage-free eggs. Compare commercially-produced eggs with eggs that you buy from a farm market, and you may be surprised at the visual difference — yellower yolks, thicker whites.

Con*Fusion Pop Up Dinners

Maria Vieages of Maria's Multi Regional Cuisine
Maria Vieages of Maria's Multi Regional Cuisine

When Maria Vieages’ world turned upside down in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, the New Orleans resident headed westward with little more than her recipes and a her infectiously sunny disposition.
The two have served her well, leading to scores culinary ventures for her company, Maria’s Multi Regional Cuisine, including stints at wineries, cooking schools and on her own food broadcast, Maria’s Non-Pompous Food Talk on KGGV — which pretty much sums up her no-nonsense philosophy on eating.
Now, Vieages and three friends (former restaurant owners Donna Seltzer and Sparky Thorne along with self-taught chef, Bethany Rose) are hosting a twice-monthly Friday pop-up restaurant called ConFusion at the Garden Court Cafe in Glen Ellen.
The menu roams around the world, picking up Creole, Cajun, Caribbean and South American flavors as well as dishes influenced by California and the Pacific Rim. The first menu (Oct. 22) includes Brazilian-style duck breast marinated in sugarcane served with plantain crema and duck cracklings; Louisiana chicken and sausage gumbo; Jamaican pork tenderloin stuffed with spinach, feta and mango; lasagna with hot Italian sausage, vanilla cream-cheese brownies with coconut and cheesecake-stuffed strawberries dipped in chocolate.
Four-course prix-fixe dinner, $50 per person. Seating begins at 6pm. No corkage fee. Reservations, which are strongly suggested, call 546-3293 or the restaurant at 935-1565. 13647 Arnold Dr., Glen Ellen, (707) 935-1565For additional dates, go to mariasmrc.com.

Tyler Florence’s Hot Dog Chili (Or, When Bad Recipes Happen To Good People)

Tyler Florence Hot Dog Chili
Tyler Florence's hot dog chili: A good idea in desperate need of upgrading

In statistics, we often talk about “Type I vs. Type II Errors” – unimaginative geek-speak for “false positives” and “false negatives”, respectively – but one could just as properly label these concepts “errors of commission vs. errors of omission“. A conundrum endemic to parenting and modern life in general, and for which the home kitchen provides an object lesson: When preparing a recipe for the first time, particularly one from a celebrity chef like Tyler Florence, do I trust my instincts and override the recipe whenever something seems amiss? Or, do I remain humble, follow it to the letter, and hope for the best?
The inherent conflict between humility and judgment, whether in the laboratory or the kitchen, proffers no solutions, only trade-offs, because it is a mathematical certainty that one cannot have it both ways: The less likely you are to make one sort of error, the more likely you are to make the other. Think of it as a sort of no-free-lunch paradigm for stats monkeys, and a dilemma which all of us confront every day: To which school should we send the kids? Should our retirement account be in stocks or bonds? Will it be faster to take the highway or the back roads? Does this dish need more seasoning? I would even argue that this basic trade-off girds principles as wide-ranging as the Hippocratic Oath, the Libertarian Party’s economic platform, and most of the world’s approach to family planning, but then I’d get lots of snarky emails about my presumed politics, so perhaps better to let those particular dogs lie unperturbed.
The whole issue is on my mind today because I just made Hot Dog Chili – not a preparation I’m overly familiar with, unless we’re counting the many past instances of inebriated consumption – from a recipe provided by Tyler Florence. Being unfamiliar with the dish, I went with humility – that is, I accepted the risk of Type I errors in order to avoid Type IIs – and I paid for it, because I’d have been hard-pressed to make a mistake worse than the recipe itself.
Now, to be fair – both to Mr Florence and my decision to trust him – the thing about Hot Dog Chili is that it’s not meant to be chili per se: Hot Dog Chili derives from the kitchens of places like Pink’s and Tommy’s down in Hollywood, and shares little family resemblance with the competition-style chilis of Texas. Hot Dog Chili does not depend on tomatoes, peppers, or beans; includes neither cubes of brisket nor heaping handfuls of spice; and must always have a very particular texture – not one you’d want to eat very often, truth be told – of a shirt-and-tie-destroying, finger-nail-staining, heart-stopping mouthful of pasty, fatty, Elmers-esque loveliness, best enjoyed very late at night with a stomach full of hooch. As questionable as they may sound, the mild flavor and sludge-like consistency of Hot Dog Chili are absolutely essential for a proper chili dog, so I dutifully banked on humility and Mr Florence’s recipe to tow me in from a lonely reef of ignorance to a tropical paradise of chili dog perfection; unfortunately, I was wrong to do so, because the recipe is a shipwreck. But bitching solves nothing, and I still want my chili dog, so herewith my list of gripes and suggested corrections, assuming an overall preparation following his lines:

  1. The Problem: Lean ground beef is contra-indicated, because Hot Dog Chili is in many respects a ragu. Furthermore, the notion of using lean beef, and then cooking it in a whopping 1/4 cup of oil just strikes me as counter-productive. Too much onion. The fix: Get a pound of high quality, flavorful, freshly ground grass-fed beef at least 20% fat; I’ll use my go-to slider material, a blend of chuck, brisket and sirloin, all grass-fed and ground-to-order by Rian, my go-to butcher at my go-to butcher’s, Willowside Meats & Sausage Co. I would also cut the onion by half, and I’d cook it in 1-2 tablespoons of canola or peanut oil.
  2. The Problem: A full cup of ketchup is obscene, unless you want your chili sweet, sticky, and cloying, tasting of little more than a concentrated paste of Heinz. Further, neither a teaspoon of mustard nor a smattering of chili powder is nearly enough. The Fix: Use only 1/2 cup of Heinz ketchup, at least a tablespoon of French’s mustard, at;east a tablespoon of paprika and at least a teaspoon of ground cumin. The ranges are provided because I’ve only established the lower bound in my limited experiments thus far, but suspect more is required; I also suspect you really want to reserve some of the spices and add them toward the end, as you would a staged spice-dump for a more classic chili, because their flavors tend to cook out after all that time on the heat.
  3. The Problem: Without water or stock, the chili dries out too quickly and never has a chance to braise down into its proper ragu-like consistency, particularly in the suggested amount of time. The Fix: Add a cup of water (or, better, rich beef stock) and allow it to cook for at least another hour (two would be better), until almost dry and the fat begins to separate; if it dries out while cooking, just add more water/stock.

Post script:
Since I began this post, the obvious finally occurred to me, and the number of blogs purporting to have the “secret recipe” of either Pink’s or Tommy’s are is legion (for instance, here and here). Lots of small differences, and one big one: The use of a roux to bind the sauce, which I am almost certain must be part of the real deal. I actually like some of what Mr Florence is doing – including the use of ketchup and mustard and a very short list of spices – so I”m going to play around with some combination of his approach and the purported secrets from the kitchen’s of Hollywood’s most famous dives.

Zimmern & Cosentino: Offal street-eats in SF

Andrew Zimmern of Bizarre Foods
Andrew Zimmern of Bizarre Foods

Two of my adventurous eating heroes, Andrew Zimmern (Bizarre Foods) and Chris Cosentino (Incanto) will be doing an All Offal menu out of an SF street food truck ( Le Truc) this Saturday (Oct 16) from 11:30-3pm while taping an episode of Zimmern’s Travel Channel show. It’s open to the public at the Off The Grid: McCoppin Hub on McCoppin Street at Valencia (Between Market and Duboce on Valencia).
Word from the SF food crew is that nose-to-tail proponent Cosentino will be cooking up fried pig’s head with pork trotter meatballs served with brain mayonnaise (“brainnaise”) in a cone.
Can’t make it? Cosentino will be in Healdsburg on Novemeber 7 at Quivira Winery hosting a benefit dinner for Slow Food Russian River’s heritage turkey program. For details about the dinner go to slowfoodrr.org.