– Never pay $135 for a cab when you can hitchhike: A cancelled flight. A broiling afternoon with nothing to do. A serious need for margaritas. Yes, BiteClub hitched it 10 miles out of Aspen to hit the Woody Creek Tavern, one of Hunter S. Thompson’s favorite watering holes. The journey is the destination, baby. Stay tuned for the full story-

– The recipe for beer milkshakes is on its way, according to the Sam Adams folks. Just in time for summer.

– We’ve seen the future, and it’s drive-through. Well, sort of. Thomas Keller, along with Tom Colicchio (Craft, SF’s ‘wichcraft), Chipotle CEO Steve Ells and Drew Nieporent (of the Nobu empire) were mostly in agreement that ‘Fast Casual’ dining is the wave of the future. Don’t worry, McDonald’s probably won’t be going away anytime soon, but casual dining restaurants with a commitment to quality (respect and standards for the food, according to Keller) are gaining serious ground. Case in point: Keller’s success with Bouchon, Bouchon Bakery and Ad Hoc, down-tempo versions that cash in on Keller’s well-known fastidiousness about high quality ingredients and great food, serving up killer meals for the rest of us. Though still a bit cryptic about plans for his burger joint, Keller says he’s still looking to find the right place for the project.

– Best Chef 2010? Amber Nishimoto, who was raised in SF and learned the art of Japanese pastry here in the Bay Area, is a young chef to watch. Now working in New Orleans (to help rebuild, she says) Nishimoto was singled out with several other CIA students to assist top chefs at the Food & Wine Classic.

– The Zen Shepherd: A big, burly rancher from Waynesburg, Pennsylvania, Keith Martin doesn’t immediately strike you as the type to say something like, “We have to listen to the voice of the lambs” and espouse a radical, wholistic philosophy of raising and slaughtering animals. But ideas like that have made him one of the French Laundry’s favorite meat purveyors. Stay tuned for more about Martin and other purveyors with a conscience.

– And a final thought from the weekend: I really wish I would have drunk more. A lot more. From Eater: NYC “-most of the Best New Chefs were there (at a private party for the Who’s Who of the food world), even the one from Seattle who’d slept in the field after going shot-for-shot with Mario the night before. Mario and Spotted Pig contingents notably absent on Saturday night.” All I got was a clog keychain. Damn.

“There are two types of people here: People who are someone and people who aren’t.”
– overheard in Aspen

It’s 1am on Sunday morning, and I think I’m quite possibly the only person in Aspen sitting at my computer, watching E! entertainment television in my pajamas. Here, the party never stops, especially during four days in June as the Food & Wine Classic rolls into town.

Okay, it stopped for me (burp), but I can hear the revelers outside, stumbling in after three days of non-stop eating, drinking and schmoozing. Clearly, I neglected the requisite advance party-training memo. It’s a sad day when Jacques Pepin, the ever-present senior statesman of food, can outlast you. By a mile.

It’s been three days of all-out sensory assault. From celebrity chef stalking and riding a ski gondola to the top of a mountain for a buffet of the gods (elk, crab legs stacked to the sky, all the artisan salumi you can eat, wine flowing like water and Giada pushing her way past in search of a cookie), to discovering that honey mead (a fermented honey beer) is the hottest drink for summer or racing up and down three flights of stairs (repeatedly) to snatch up all ten of the Best Chef’s creations before the mob descended (see the photo gallery) on Saturday’s walk-around dinner. (After which, I was left wondering where I could get a good burger.)

But that’s just the start. Outside of the cooking programs by culinary showmen like Emeril and Mario, there are grand tastings where thousands happily pack into giant tents for sole privilege of eating and drinking into oblivion. There are major deals being struck poolside, at after-hours parties and in Lexus shuttles driving attendees the four blocks back to their hotels. Come on, three-inch heels are a bitch to walk in.

If it all sounds a little over the top, it is. Blissfully so.

“People are so star struck by this industry right now,” Sean O’Brien, chef of San Francisco’s Myth restaurant told me yesterday. As one of the Top 10 Chefs selected by Food & Wine magazine, he’s fairly unfazed by all the attention lavished on the young superstars singled out for national media attention, not to mention having to serve thousands at Saturday night’s dinner (O’Brien served up a cold salad of octopus and chick peas). At least that’s his story for the moment.

“There’s a glamorizing of the industry. Every kid in culinary school is thinking they can be a celebrity. It can happen. But for the most part it isn’t going to,” he says.

Maybe. But here in Aspen O’Brien and, well, pretty much anyone wearing a toque and chef’s whites are guaranteed their 15 minutes of fame from rabid foodies who’ve flocked to Aspen to pray feverishly at the temple of gastronomy. At least for a few days each June.

Check out the photo gallery. You owe my poor, blistering feet that much.

Oh, and about those Beer Milkshakes–who knew? Sam Adams beer plus ice cream equals a little bit of booze heaven.

If you caught Mario Batali on Good Morning America on
Friday, you may have noticed a shout out to SoCo’s own Bovolo Restaurant. While
making an on-camera dish, Batali gave props to the meaty, artisinal bacon made
by Chef John Stewart under his Black Pig label. Locals can buy Stewart’s thick,
insanely delicious bacon at the Healdsburg eatery in addition to hand-made salumis.
BiteClub got the word on the GMA appearance straight from Duskie Estes (usually
found in the kitchen at Zazu or scooping up her homemade gelato at summertime
events), who this week is helping out the Food & Wine crew here in Aspen.
(She’s mugging it up at right).

If Healdsburg is too much of a schlep, Estes says they’re
planning to find a co-packer (someone who processes the bacon based on John’s
recipe and directions) in order to find wider distribution for all your bacon
needs.

Which brings me to Green Grapes and Ham. Sort of.

Pork-lovers flocked to a ham and wine pairing here at Aspen
with Dan Philips of Grateful Palate (www.gratefulpalate.com) and Danny Meyer of
Union Square for a morning
tasting of, you guessed it, ham and white wine. Philips is quite possibly one
of my favorite people in the world because A) He is not afraid to wear a pig nose in
public and B) He runs the “Bacon of the Month Club”. How can you not
love that?

The tasting revolved around nibbling various pieces of
smoked, cured and uncured hams from around the world with white wines (sadly
none from SoCo, though Philips said there were probably some possibilities with
Gewurtz). So, if you’re planning on serving ham and wine, let me know. I’ve got
some great whites that are a natural for you ham-atics.

In a six-degrees-of-separation moment, Philips is talking to
Estes and Stewart about their bacon, though they’ll have to be able to make
something like 4,000 pounds before they can be considered for inclusion in the
Bacon of the Month Club.

Stay tuned…

It’s old home week at the Food & Wine Classic in Aspen. Tons of locals–from the Russian River Wine folks, to Josh Silvers of Syrah, cheese magnate Laura Werlin, wine writer Linda Murphy, the French Laundry’s Thomas Keller and gazillions of wine purveyors from throughout the Sonoma & Napa.

Think of it as the Golden Globes of food and wine. Lots of stars, lots of schmoozing, lots to eat and drink. Last night’s pre-event, uh event had me glad-handing everyone from Mario Batali (who complimented me on my orange purse, which matched perfectly his orange Crocs) to Giada De Laurenttis, and Spanish chef Jose Andres. Wow.

This morning, BiteClub snuck into one of the most exclusive events of the gala–a reserve tasting of seven vintages of Screaming Eagle (the wine that infamously sold for a half-million at auction, and continues to command some of the highest prices for Napa cult wine in the history of cult wines.) No, I didn’t get a sip. Security was tighter than, uh, my waistband after last night’s dinner. But hey, I also didn’t have $750 to spend (which, if you do the math, comes to something over $107 a sip. Nice.

Stay tuned for some juicy gossip about a local restaurant overheard this morning. More to come…

Check out the photos!

Mad Maria’s waiting for you, matey. And she’s ready to get her shanty on.

Hoist that mainsail and strap on your patch, this weekend marks the launch of Northern California’s first Pirate Festival in Vallejo. Avast! There’s more than just plundering booty to be done here–like sassy singing wenches and barnacled blokes entertaining in full pirate regalia; fresh seafood and meat pies (and uh, hot dogs for your little buccaneers); games and nautical music; a pirate-girl pin-up contest, grog shop and, well, lots of other stuff to bring out your inner Jack Sparrow.

The event is family friendly, with activities for both kids and adults. Click here for more details about the event.

So, who’d be crazy enough to come up with a whole weekend devoted to pirate escapades? Mad Maria’s who, AKA Anna Benincasa of Petaluma and her partner Steve Morales. After discovering a shared passion for nautical music (hey, there’s someone out there for everyone, right?) the two got involved with the Seadogs, a sort of roving music and theatrical troupe with a maritime bent.

From there, they launched a t-shirt and clothing company called piratemod.com “because pirates need to look their best, too. Once Hollywood got into the game with the release of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, Anna says their pirate-passion became something of an all-consuming lifestyle.

No. They don’t walk around in pirate clothes all day or talk like Black Beard, but the couple are so passionate about the history and romantic ideals of pirates that they agreed to create NorCal’s very first Pirate Festival (there are actually many other pirate festivals around the country. Really.) Think Renaissance festival with eye-patches and lots of Arrggghs.

Will the idea sail, or run aground? “Piracy just gives you that feeling that you can have your own rules and your own code,” Anna says. “It’s that bad boy thing. And there will always be an audience for that.” This is a building year for the festival, and in future years Anna says she hopes to build on the nautical theme, incorporating large ships and even more maritime fun. As for this year, ahoy!, admission is free. What more could a pirate ask for?

Northern California Pirate Festival: Vallejo Waterfront, California
Saturday: 10am til Dusk, Father’s Day Sunday: 10am – 6pm

Poor dad. You’ve given him 400 ugly ties, 10 humorous golfing calendars
(despite the fact that he doesn’t play), gallons of outrageously stinky cologne
and had to Fedex ‘Happy Father’s Day’ cards (late) more times than you can
remember. And yet, he still wires you money in Cancun,
fixes your car and tries to be consoling when you break-up with your boyfriend
for the twelfth time.

You owe him. Big. Redeem yourself this weekend.

Best bets:
– Free Beer w/Rubdown: Dad may be a little queasy about getting a facial,
massage and foot ‘ritual’, but when it comes with beer and pretzels, well,
there’s no shame in a little self-gratification. On Father’s Day, the Montecito
Health Club & Resort (at the Flamingo Hotel in Santa Rosa) offers spa services with dad’s
favorite beverage.

– King of the Castle at Ledson: Wine, BBQ, classic cars and live music. What
more could dad ask for. Ledson Vineyards, 7335 Sonoma Hwy (Hwy 12), Kenwood, 11am to 4pm, June 17, $25.

– Paella Party on the River: Paella Prince Gerard Nebesky throws one of his
outrageously fun outdoor culinary feasts on the Monte Rio Beach, $85. Call Relish
Culinary School
for details and availability. 877.759.1004

– Food & Wine Pairing Class: My dad has become a monster, throwing around terms like ‘long finish’ and ‘smokey with a hint of pepper’ with absolute abandon after taking a wine class. Give your papa the gift of at least appearing to know what’s swirling around in his glass. SRJC offers several courses, including a food & wine pairing.

Passion for Purple
And hey, if dad’s big on flowers, take him to the various lavender events
’round town this week. Or, uh, just get mom out of his hair for a while.

– Sonoma Lavender Festival: Indulge your senses a fragrantly festive
celebration of the purple plant with cooking demonstrations, farm tours and
lunch in the lavender field of Chateau St. Jean on June 16.

– Lavender Bee Farm in Petaluma offers guided tours of their farm and 5,000
lavender plants Saturdays and Sundays at 9 AM and closes at 1 PM. Click here
for details

– Annual Days of Wine & Lavender: Though the June 23 event at Matanzas Creek
Winery it’s sold out, you can get a sneak preview and sniff a whiff of the
hundreds of lavender plants blowing in the breeze.

“Citing safety and health concerns, along with cries of “unfair competition” from brick and mortar restaurants in the area, the City of Salinas is considering an outright ban on “mobile vendors” or a severe restriction on their business. In January, the city set a cap on the vendor permits at the current count of 31 and no new permits will be issued causing a gradual fade-out of taco trucks in Salinas. Next week, an as-of-yet unpublicized proposal is scheduled to go before the city council that will further restrict the taco trucks. The proposal could include possible time restrictions instructing taco trucks to only operate between 6 pm and 6 am, could require that the vendors move their trucks every 15 minutes to one hour, or could cause taco trucks to have to move off of public streets and on to private property zoned for the business.” – Jennifer Maiser, Bay Area Bites

Like Santa Rosa, the city of Salinas is at a crossroads when it comes to taco trucks. Citing health and traffic concerns along with competition with brick-and-mortar shops, Salinas is quietly putting the brakes on taco trucks. Santa Rosa has continued to allow taco trucks along Sebastopol Ave., but recently denied a permit for long-time truck operators La Texanita (see a review of their current restaurant).

With so many fans–from nearby families and workers looking for a quick bite to late-night revelers eager for a bite to soak up all that-uh, revelry–taco trucks have become a favorite fixture for eager eaters.

Are you worried about losing your favorite munchie mobile?

Pssssst. Wanna know a secret?

The Ghetto Gourmet crew are coming to Wine Country next week to host a top-secret, invite-only dinner in Healdsburg. We can’t tell you where (because BiteClub honestly doesn’t know anything more than it’s a former slaughterhouse turned exclusive private winery). We can’t tell you what’s for dinner (other than the fact that recurring Ghet chef Cynthia Washburn is cooking). And we definitely can’t tell you who’ll be there (though ‘hot performances’ are promised).

That’s the fun of it all. Just showing up with your own seating cushion and big expectations. Take a risk, blow $100 and get a ticket. We dare you.

If you go: Want to know more about the GG crew? This highly secretive group began in Oakland, hosting weekly dinners in their home and in other surprise spots on the sly (ostensibly to avoid the Health Department, who frowns upon hosting public dinners in non-commercial kitchens-kill-joys). The whole thing got to be so much fun that they’ve expanded to Wine Country and beyond. Get on their list, and you’ll get first dibs on future dinners and mayhem.

PS. BiteClub would soooo be at the GG event, but alas, will be hobnobbing/chef-stalking in Aspen this week at the Food & Wine Classic with Chef-lebrities Thomas Keller (who hopefully won’t recognize me from the Tomato Snow Cone incident) , pretty much the entire Food Network cast (Mario Batali, Giada De Laurentiis, Emeril & so on) and NoCal locals like Laura Werlin, Andrea Immer Robinson and Linda Murphy. Anyone you want me to tackle? Let me know: biteclub@pressdemo.com.

Imagine the great and powerful Thomas Keller (of French Laundry, Per Se and Bouchon fame) handing out snow cones. Literally standing in a throng of people with ball-park vendor’s box strapped around his neck–and here’s where it gets really weird–hawking tomato flavored snow cones topped with a shrimp.

Why not. I’ll bite.

Cool. Tomato-ey. Ew, wait. Cold tomato sauce with limp shrimp. Bad plan. Abort. Abort.

Before I could the taste out of my mouth and my camera out of my bag, Keller had high-tailed it to the back of the tent and waved off my attempts to take a picture. Sigh.

Don’t worry, Thomas, I still love you despite your gazpacho-inspired mishap and camera fickleness.

Moving on, I’m ready to pounce on dozens of other chefs sweltering it out inside the tents of Taste Napa Valley, a pre-auction gathering for Auction Napa Valley where locals and high-rolling bidders elbow it out at the all-you-can-eat nibblefest featuring some of the best food in Wine Country (snow cones aside). Like having sushi-master Ken Tominaga make you a salmon hand roll. Grabbing a plate of baby carrots, fresh peas and pork from FARM restaurant or a white cheesecake bon bon on a stick from Sweetie Pies. Yeah. And the food just goes on and on and on.

But before I start daydreaming of pulled pork sandwiches from Cindy’s Backstreet Kitchen again, I should probably mention that something like 100 wineries stand around filling your wine glass as you walk around stuffing your face. I just didn’t want your head to explode.

So what’s all the fuss? Taste Napa Valley is just the warm up to Auction Napa Valley– quite possibly the most lavish wine auction ever conceived, with wine lots that have sold for upwards of-let’s just say, the down payment on your house. Or, uh, your house itself.

Throughout the weekend, wine enthusiasts from around the world converge on Napa to get a gander at what’s on the block, hob-nob, eat, drink and generally look fabulous (see the slideshow). When it’s all over, everyone goes home a stuffed, hung-over and, if they’re lucky, with some serious wine for their collections. More importantly, local charities get the lion’s share of the take. Hey, it’s a win-win.

Check out what’s up for bid at http://www.napavintners.com/anv.

Check out my photo gallery of Taste Napa Valley (with a covert shot of Keller, to boot!) here.

Krispy Kreme never had a chance.

Blame it on the low-carb kill-joys and the saturated fat police. Or maybe it was all those refined sugar alarmists with their talk of tooth decay and hyperactivity. Who knows, maybe it was the whole ‘donut’ vs. ‘doughnut’ debate. In any case, aside from a few assorted gas station hold-outs, my beloved KK is gone.

So, okay, you win. Go back to your soy yogurt and five-grain.

But hear me out. Donuts are about the only thing that will predictably get me out of bed on a Monday morning. Raspberry jelly with a crackled glaze, please. They’re a weekend tradition, the kids and I licking our gooey-sugary fingers around the table while watching cartoons. They’re a warm and satisfying reward after a long week of calorie counting and restrictions. (And, admittedly, the sugar jolt is a nice side effect.)

Ultimately, however, a donut is just a donut–fried dough. Nothin’ too fancy. And what sets them apart is the fluffiness and freshness. After the demise of KK, could anything stand up to my expectations?

Yes and yes. After an exhaustive taste test (really, someone had to do it), Tan’s Donuts has stolen my batter-dipped heart. Light, fluffy and fresh with a hint of cinnamon, they’re among the best bets for donuts outside of Portland’s Voodoo Donuts (I would sell my soul to have just one Bacon Maple donut at midnight!). And at $5.75 for a dozen, a good value as well. Donut Hut is a close second, especially since they stuff their jelly donuts nice and full and are consistently fresh.

So put down your carob-muffins, and for goodness sake, toss that McMuffin. You deserve a warm donut. Think of it as a little hug with a hole.

Tan’s Donuts, 1074 Fourth St., Santa Rosa, 707.568.3988
Donut Hut, 555 Healdsburg Ave, Santa Rosa, 707.544.2085

What’s your favorite donut spot? Email me