Denny’s Fried Grilled Cheese Mozzarella Stick Fail!

The runt of the Epic Sandwich oeuvre

As delivered, The Fried Cheese Mel

Frankly, I’d hoped for more. When putting my very health on the line, I at least like to stare death in the face and give a hearty belly laugh. Denny’s Fried Cheese Melt felt like a very weak fist shaking — maybe a stern finger pointing — at best.
New to Denny’s $2, $4, $6, $8 Value Menu, it’s a grilled cheese sandwich with four mozzarella sticks stuffed inside. Epic!
Along the lines of Carl’s Junior Footlong Cheeseburger or KFC’s Double Down, this is the latest entrant into the zeitgeist of  stupid, ridiculous, horrifying abominations that revel in their gastrointestinal wrongness. They dare you to eat them. The only plus: Their caloric freakishness is offset by the rush of hedonistic masochism that jolts through your veins. You could crush those self-righteous nutritionists with your belly rolls!
As promised
As promised

Hidden inside the menu, it’s hard to find and staff don’t seem to have their heart into its delivery. The slim $4 ‘wich masquerading as the promised Fried Cheese Melt had none of the aforementioned gusto. And came served minus marinara. Or fries (I was offered a salad or soup – meh). On the plus side, the ranch dressing did serve as a handy dunking pool. But sheesh, at least give me the satisfaction of some fries with my cheese-covered fried cheese with butter.
Calorie-wise, it’s still in the nightmare oeuvre, clocking in at about 895 calories and 34 grams of fat. Tack on the ranch dip, and you’re into the quadruple digits. But frankly, after a few bites, I lost interest and started thinking about exactly how many hours of cardio it would take to burn this meal off my thighs. And how many days I just clocked off my life.
So not worth it. Pass the salad.
Denny’s Fried Cheese Melt, available at all local Denny’s restaurants.