I feel so wrong. So very, very wrong.

Wafts of my lunch chastise me at regular intervals from the patchwork of drips and stains covering my clothes. My sated stomach gurgles. My conscience is troubled.

Without a second thought or even a napkin, I have scarfed down a sandwich the size of Cleveland–beef brisket covered in melty smoked cheddar with mayonnaise, pickles, onions and peppers on a sourdough bun.

There, I said it.

A surprise find in the Petaluma’s OSH shopping center (I was
actually on my way elsewhere on a food tip), I was pulled in by the
undeniable gravitational pull of fresh barbecue. (You’ll see the smoking
‘cue on the sidewalk just down from Jerome’s BBQ).

On Franzi’s menu board (aside from the brisket) is a United
Nations of sandwiches including the BBQ Tri Tip, pulled pork, Louisiana hot links and Petaluma BBQ chicken, Rueben, Panini and Persian in addition to St. Louis ribs and fresh made Baklava. Most specialities are under $8, which is a pretty good deal for that much meaty goodness.

But oh that evil, delicious gigantic beef brisket! BiteClub could not resist wolfing down
every last morsel on the ride home. Then licking fingers and searching
around for any missed morsels that have escaped the carnage. My dry cleaner will be horrified.

Not that I wasn’t warned. “You eat half now, half for dinner,” said the kindly lady at the Franzi’s Swiss Italian Deli, nearly toppling from the weight of my sandwich. Cha, right.

Oh, the guilt. Oh, the shame. Oh, the stains. Oh, what a sandwich.

Franzi’s Swiss Italian Deli, 1390 North McDowell Blvd., Petaluma, 707.664.1339

Just in time for a mass bee die-off, honey has become the hottest alcohol flavoring of the year. Seems whatever apiaries are left will be putting in some serious overtime.

No longer relegated to Renaissance Fairs, mead (an ancient recipe for wine made with honey instead of grapes) is among the most popular bee brews, with companies like Colorado’s Medovina refining the process to create high-end wines ranging from super sweet to off-dry sippers perfect for a late summer evening. Closer to home Enat Winery in Oakland brews Ethiopian mead called tej using an old family recipe. But because of its relative simplicity to make and similarity to beer brewing, local honey purveyors say there are dozens of home mead makers throughout the county cooking up their own batches.

More accessible to honey, uh, newbees are honey beers and ciders. Near Graton, Ace Cider makes Apple Honey Cider using Gibson’s Golden Wildflower Honey from Sonoma County. Claiming to be the first commercially produced in California, the cider is a mix of 5% honey and 95% Sonoma apple juice. Cider Master Lou Markarian says that despite its sweet honey taste, the cider is balanced by a tart acidity from the apples.

Though they only brew about 5,000 gallons of the honey cider a year (it’s an acquired taste, reportedly), Ace uses a whopping 150 gallons of honey per year. That’s about a year’s production for two hives, according to the San Francisco Bee Keeper’s Association. The honey cider is available on tap at Ace Pub, as well as in bottles at select Whole Foods, Bevmo, Costco and Trader Joe’s.

While at the Food & Wine Classic in Aspen, BiteClub was two-fisting Blue Moon Honey Moon Summer Ale, which marries flavors of orange peel and organic honey with a light, crisp beer. A winner at the 2007 American Beer Festival, it’s available through BevMo.com.

Still can’t get enough of the sweet stuff? Check out Matrioshka Honey Vodka, Modern Spirit Grapefruit Honey Vodka or Wild Turkey American Honey Liqueur which can also be found through BevMo. Whisky mead is available from Friary Vintners in the UK.

But no matter what your drink, this summer you’re in for a serious buzz.

Find out more:
– Create your own mead
–San Francisco Beekeeper’s Association
– Ace Cider
–Medovina
– Mead Resource Guide

If you’ve ever watched Iron Chef, you’ll pretty much get the
premise of the recent Steel Chef cook-off during Sonoma Showcase last weekend–throw a
good-natured group of chefs into an impossibly stressful cooking situation in front of an audience; keep the key ingredients a mystery until the last second; set the timer for 30 minutes (30 minutes less than the real Iron Chef) and then judge the outcome. Publicly.

Chosen by SRJC’s Culinary Arts Director Michael Salinger, the mystery foods for round one included gulf
shrimp, pork loin, figs, nectarines, corn, Andouille sausage cherry tomatoes
and fresh pasta. For the championship round, the bag nicluded rack of lamb, loin of lamb,squash, tomatoes, Santa Rosa plums, fingerling potatoes, portabella mushrooms and Belgian endive.

I’m always surprised, frankly, that there aren’t more mental breakdowns during
these things. Because if you threw a bag of random ingredients at me with 30 minutes on the clock I’d probably start crying
hysterically.

But these are pros. First round competition pitted Jack Mitchell of
Sassafras Restaurant against Jeff Mall of Zin Restaurant. Using the
first mystery bag, Mall swayed the judges with an impromptu dish of shrimp
and grits, pork loin with peppers and pinot sauce and the sliced fruit.

“I barely had time to get the pork on the plate. I didn’t have time to slice it, and the judges were eating with plastic forks and knives. I honestly thought Jack had won,” Mall said.

Facing off in the championship round against Janine Falvo of Carneros
Bistro (who had topped Jeffrey Madura of John Ash & Co.), Mall did a
‘Ratatouille’ inspired, uh, ratatouille. But not just ratatouille–curry rubbed rack of lamb, ratatouille, grilled endive and
a pinot noir sauce with a Remy Pez dispenser garnish. “It was the fastest 20 minutes of my life,”
says Mall, who ultimately won the coveted Steel Chef title.

Never doubt the power of Pez. Congrats, Jeff.

---

Want to know how how he did it? Mall dishes on his dishes.

For my first dish, I did shrimp and grits. I took the corn shucked it, cooked it in some
boiling water, took the kernels off the cob and added the cob back to the water
to make a corn stock. I then stirred in polenta,
I know -not really grits into the corn stock to make grits. I also added cream, butter, salt and the corn
kernels. I rendered out the sausage and sautéed
the shrimp in the fat with some tomatoes, peppers and white wine, and added
just a touch more cream. I took the pork
loin and pan roasted it, I also added some red peppers and Anaheim and jalapeno peppers I had
diced. I then added some fresh figs and
sliced nectarines. Deglazed with pinot noir and served over some fresh pasta.

For the championship battle I rubbed the rack with curry
powder, salt and olive oil and grilled it.
I dropped the potatoes in boiling water to cook half way, pulled them
out and sliced them and threw them into the oven with butter and salt to roast. Grilled the lamb loin, endive and portabella mushroom. Threw the plums in a blender with some port
wine and salt. Sautéed the squash with
onion, garlic and the tomatoes. Reduced
some pinot noir with chicken stock and balsamic vinegar. My first dish was the curry rubbed rack of
lamb with ratatouille, grilled endive and a pinot noir sauce. I did not have eggplant, so I could not make
a real ratatouille. I did have a ‘Remy’
Pez Dispenser from the movie ratatouille in my pocket. I used ‘Remy’ as a garnish. For the second dish I served the lamb loin
with the roasted fingerlings, grilled portabellas and Plum Port
sauce.

Snuggled against the base of a sheer limestone mountain, the town of Field, British Columbia is just about the quaintest place on earth. The hamlet of 200 is little more than a way-station for summer vacationers who have the inside track on the popular eight-table bistro, The Truffle Pigs, who serve happily sweating diners beef bourguignon in 95 degree weather.

We’ve traveled off our Calgary-bound route along Canada’s Highway One to get here. A bit cramped, with knickknacks and souvenirs hanging from the ceiling and a small general store attached to the back, the restaurant is nothing much, really to look at. There are prime Alberta steaks on the barbecue, mussels with white wine sauce bubbling on the small stove, and their famous bourguignon–beef, carrots and potatoes simmered in red wine and all other sorts of goodness.

It’s unseasonably muggy here in the Rockies. Despite snow-capped mountains, the valley feels like a Lousiana swamp, with twice the number of mosquitoes. But there’s no way I’m passing up the opportunity for the Pigs’ stew. And when it arrives, this steaming and hearty winter fare it’s all we can do to not to cram it into our mouths in under 60 seconds flat. Hey, we’ve been eating campground hot dogs for three days. Melt-in-your mouth meat, potatoes and plenty of sauce to be sopped by a crusty slice of bread. Tres French.

The Truffle Pigs is run by a young Toronto couple who made their escape from urban life in 2001, the vibe is ultra-relaxed, with summer afternoon chat and “Where you folks from, eh?” After a cold glass of beer and a bit of rum as we wait for dinner, we’re all feeling pretty relaxed.

Then my mom drops the bomb that the entire town was squashed like a bug when half the mountain fell on it a hundred years or so ago. Maybe I’ll take my dessert to go.

Truffle Pigs Bistro, Field, British Columbia. http://www.trufflepigs.com/

PS: BiteClub heads back to work today. Stay tuned for a follow-up on Showcase and more SoCo eats.

Along with ballet slipper flats and safety pin fashion, frozen yogurt has resurfaced as one of the summer’s hottest recycled ’80s trends. Like totally. But hold onto your mall bangs, sister, we’ve evolved way beyond TCBY. Enter Pinkberry.

Raging through SoCal like an acidophilus-fueled wildfire, Pinkberry has elevated fro-yo to an art form by, well, making it actually taste like yogurt. And at only 25 calories per ounce (before topping it with Fruity Pebbles and Cap’n Crunch, that is), it’s a sweet treat that is gentle on the waistline. Unlike that carton of Ben & Jerry’s you’re hiding in the freezer.

Only two flavors of the hip soft serve yogurt are available–plain and green tea–and reports from rabid fans describe it as creamy, tangy and absolutely dream-like (the Le Klimt designed space doesn’t hurt those happy feelings, either). A particular obsession is the shaved ice Pinkberry, intermingling condensed milk, fresh fruit and a “top hat” of plain frozen yogurt. Commence salivation. Fork over something like $7.25.

Sadly, no Pinkberry stores are slated for NoCal in the near future (NYC and Europe get first dibs), though knock-offs abound. Local Chowhounders report that Mangoberry at Michelle’s Yogurt on Durant Avenue in Berkeley is a close approximation and Honeydoo is slated to open this fall in SF. Meanwhile, some say the Pinkberry craze was actually pilfered from Korea’s Red Mango, now building their own West Coast fleet of shops in SoCal, Washington and Nevada. (We’ll cross our fingers they get here soon.)

Need your fix, now? Golden Spoon frozen yogurt recently opened in West Santa Rosa (in addition to the location in Windsor), offering a mind-numbing number of flavors and toppings in a more traditional bent. Styling itself as a flavor-twin to soft serve ice cream (and only 17 calories per ounce!), Golden Spoon comes in vanilla and chocolate as well as an ever-changing line-up of monthly tempations including cake batter, pumpkin pie, boysenberry, coconut and root beer float.

Like, totally awesome.

Golden Spoon Santa Rosa, 1791 Marlow Rd., Santa Rosa, 707-523-1119
Golden Spoon Windsor, 8828 Lakewood Dr., Windsor, 707-836-1119. Open daily 11am to 10pm.

Are you an addict? Can’t understand all the fuss? Wikipedia Pinkberry

Chefs are a notoriously fickle bunch to feed. Anyone worth their whites can sniff out undercooked
pasta at 100 yards and won’t hesitate to dress down a fellow cook (usually behind
their back) with devastating candor if the fries are frozen or the spinach
wilted. Suffice to say it’s not just their knives that are razor
sharp.

So, when word gets out that local toques have been frequenting Windsor’s new Odyssey Restaurant
after-hours, my foodie feelers start tingling. When I find out that the chef,
Rudy Mihall, cut his teeth at Gramercy Tavern, spent two years in Italy and, according to
an email from Jeff Mall “won’t be under the radar much
longer”, my wheels are pretty much smoking in the rush to get there.

Nestled into the tiny space formerly occupied by L’Assiette, Odyssey has just 10
tables and a long, glowing bar that dominates the space. There’s little room to
maneuver, but proximity can have its benefits–like the ability to chum up
to your neighbors and pilfer a little nibble from their plate. Not that I’m
suggesting you do this uninvited. But when a ridiculously huge foie gras burger
comes to the table, the urge is, well, irresistible.

In the six weeks since opening, Odyssey has breezed past the nervous tension and bungling that are the hallmark of first-timers and settled
comfortably into wowing the locals. Mihall has clearly mastered the confines of his small kitchen (allowing more time for his creative coiffures) while
friend and SF restaurateur Tom Gordon manages the front
of the house.

The menu changes up daily, with house favorites like the pizza, burger and beet
tartare as staples. Despite not having a wood-fired oven, Mihall cranks out
impossibly thin and crispy pizzas, topped with arugula, pancetta and fresh
mozzarella ($13-$15). And no, he won’t tell you the secret to how he makes
them. Starters show off Mihall’s flair for the dramatic: Beet tartare
($10) with sunflower greens is a jewel-toned vision almost too pretty to
eat and chilled pea soup with poached lobster (with, get this, pickled ramps) is packed with bits of meat that
make its $12 price tag seem a bargain.

Capping off the food frenzy, you’ll want to check out the foie gras burger ($21), if
just to say you’ve done it. It’s a layer upon layer of flavor (and
cholesterol): black truffles, braised short ribs and foie gras encased by beef
sirloin. It’s not an easy thing to pull off–keeping the exterior from drying
out completely, while making sure the inside isn’t blood raw. Mihall gets it as
close to right as anyone possibly could, searing the outside and finishing the
whole affair in the oven. Roasted tomatoes and a brioche bun just add to the dedadence. Thing is, the burger’s far too large to actually fit in your mouth, so just split one round the table.
I don’t want to be responsible for any of you keeling over in coronary arrest if you brave it alone.

Dessert hasn’t quite worked itself out yet. Considering the sweet teeth of local clientele and
late(ish) hours, we’ll look forward to some creativity in this department to cap off the meal. No worries. Just ask the chef sitting at the end of the bar for a few ideas.

If you go: The spot is a little hard to find, hidden in a
far corner of the Town Green and signage is minimal. Considering the buzz, you
may want to call ahead for reservations. The restaurant has a considerable wine
list featuring many local wines, in addition to a large selection of Italian
reds and whites.

Odyssey Restaurant, 426 Emily Rose, Circle, Windsor, 707.836.7600. Open Tuesday through
Thursday, 5pm to 10pm; Friday and Saturday, 5pm to 11pm.

When a friend recently told me he never eats fast food, I couldn’t help the look of shock and horror that came over my face. I called him a liar.

Because in the year 2007 if you have any sort of normal life, hitting the drive-through at 11pm after everything else closes is pretty much unavoidable. Even the most conscious parents eventually succumb to the pleas of Happy Meal-crazed children. Even BiteClub isn’t above scraping together pennies from under the car seat at the end of the month in search of a dirt-cheap meal. And, there’s always the issue of pleasing out-of-town guests who think Outback is the absolute height of gastronomy (especially when it’s your mother-in-law).

Come on. You do it. We all do it. It’s awful, but let’s just admit it and move on. **

Recently, Zagat’s–the little red restaurant guides that are pure gold when it comes to honest reviews–came out with a survey and guide to fast food and chain restaurants around the country. Stuff like McDonald’s, Wendy’s and, yep, Outback. Great, right?

They actually got hammered for it by smug foodies who swore they’d rather turn in their forks than ever eat at Applebees. Funny thing is, I’ll bet there are a whole lot more of you who actually want to know which giant chain has the best burger, the best shake, the crispiest fries and, overall, the healthiest food than where to get the most sustainable foie gras or which completely over-rated restaurant is worth spending $250 on.

Frankly, I find the whole thing brilliant. Because while I usually devote my energy to talking about local restaurants and chefs with noble ideals, sometime a girl just needs to grab a quick bite and get on with it.

So, whatever your socio-political-economic stance, here are a few outtakes you may want to consider on your next Micky D’s run. I mean, if you’re into that kind of thing-

• Wendy’s wins overall for their burgers and generally popularity. (BiteClub is a huge fan of the Frescata sandwiches, though the décor and sometimes wacky clientele at the Santa Rosa Ave. location leave something to be desired)
• Outback Steakhouse: Number one full-service chain (Come on: Who can touch the Bloomin’ Onion?)
• McDonald’s was rated tops for fries and child-friendliness (Only fast food fries I’ll eat, uh, willingly.)
• Dairy Queen has the surveyors’ favorite milkshakes, followed by McDonald’s and Sonic. (Why, oh why don’t we have a Sonic nearby?)
• Find more details here: http://www.zagat.com/promo.aspx?pn=37

Interestingly enough, the survey (Zagat’s asks real people for their opinions) also found that 93% of their readers were very concerned about things like trans-fats and 96% said they’d actually eat MORE fast food if the industry would actually ban them.
Take it for what it’s worth.

And uh, see you at the drive-through.

What’s your take? Evil empire or fact of life? And, what’s your favorite fast food?

**First off, the fact that my friend is Italian and has a wife who is a killer cook gets him off the hook. I also realize there is a rather small contingency of people who staunchly eschew fast food/restaurant chains for a whole myriad of reasons that have all sorts of social and ecological merit. Finally, I admit that most fast food is horrible for you and makes you fat. But sometimes a bag of burgers are a fact of life. Talk to me when you’re a single mom on a budget trying to feed two young children three decent meals a day, seven days a week while working a full-time job.

Seafood lovers might want to think twice before biting into that shrimp, tilapia or catfish. China, the world’s leading seafood supplier, has come under serious scrutiny by the FDA for exporting several types of farm-raised fish and shellfish that have been found to contain significant amounts of carcinogens and contamination.

How do you know if your seafood is from China? Well, you may not. According to the FDA, no current law or regulation requires that fish offered for sale to U.S. consumers be labeled regarding the products’ country of origin. “However, FDA believes that consumers need not be concerned about whether or not the seafood they purchase is from China, because the agency’s import alert will prohibit the entry into U.S. commerce of violative seafood products from China.“

Officially, the Food and Drug Administration has issued an “alert”, though not an outright ban, on farm-raised catfish, basa, shrimp, dace and eel from China. Any shipments of the seafood will have to be proven to be free of drugs and residues not approved in the US.

“We’re taking this strong step because of current and continuing evidence that certain Chinese aquaculture products imported into the United States contain illegal substances that are not permitted in seafood sold in the United States,” said Dr. David Acheson, FDA’s assistant commissioner for food protection. This includes, according to the FDA, unapproved veterinary drugs. “We will accept entries of these products from Chinese firms that demonstrate compliance with our requirements and safety standards.”

Though there have been no reports of illnesses from these imported seafoods, the FDA has concerns that continued long-term exposure could be dangerous.

Here are some statistics you may want to consider:

– 90% of the total US supply of shrimp is imported, 11.5% is from China
– 99% of the total US imports of catfish is from China
– 100% of US supply of basa is imported, 8% of the total US imports of basa is from China

Read more at the FDA FAQ site.