Amen to Guy Fieri. He’s a guy you just can’t help but love. The Food Network superstar is full of soul, vitality and enthusiasm. I’m not totally sure I can say the same thing for the new/resurrected Johnny Garlic’s.

Here’s the backstory: After shuttering Russell Ramsay’s Chop House, which failed to have the draw of nightspot Tex Wasabi’s, the space was briefly closed. In January, a flurry of television ads featuring Fieri and his mom hailed the return of Johnny Garlic’s to its original spot on Farmer’s Lane as a ‘You asked for it, you got it’ kind of thing.

A nice spin, if nothing else.

On Feb. 1, the doors reopened with many of Garlic’s tried-and-true favorites–Caesar salad, Cajun Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo and garlic fries. Added into the mix, a few Chop House favorites–big steaks, French onion soup and the sweet beet salad. I’m actually thinking this could be a cool thing. A nice, new(ish) local spot to take the kids.

But Fieri’s trademark energy seems lacking in the retro-fitted space.

It’s the little things—clumpy pasta, crumpled paper table coverings, a sort of empty feeling all around. The salad was wilted, and had exactly two croutons on top. The soup of the day, clam chowder, felt hopelessly boring. Not even the toothy smiles and speedy service could cut through the gloom.

Hard to imagine a firebrand like Guy tolerating such mediocrity–especially with a big re-opening like this. Where’s the Fieri who invented rock n’ roll sushi?

Or, has Fieri left the building?

If you go: Best bets are the Cajun chicken Fettuccine Alfredo, an all-time Johnny Garlic’s top-seller. Garlic chips with garlic sour cream are a fun appetizer (if you’re not planning on doing a lot of kissing later) and the complementary focaccia-style bread is nice (just please, bring the balsamic without us having to plead for it.) Lunch specials include one of several specialty entrees (like the Cajun chicken) with their signature Caesar for under $10.

Johnny Garlic’s, 1460 Farmers Lane, Santa Rosa, 707.571.1800. Open daily for lunch and dinner.

Call them the shellfish of love. Shooters d’amour. The mollusks of marital bliss.

Raw oysters are, well, about as obvious as food gets, when it comes to making your romantic intentions known. We’ll just leave it at that.

Here are six spots to plant that flag of love and throw back a dozen on the half-shell. The rest is up to you.

Glen Ellen Inn Restaurant: Tucked away in quiet Glen Ellen, the restaurant is romantically candlelit, offering a variety of oyster delights, including the Dirty Dozen–12 raw oysters with a Bloody Mary mignonette. After dinner head to the secret cottages for a dip in the Jacuzzi tubs and, well, whatever might happen next. 13670 Arnold Drive, Glen Ellen, 707.996.6409

Willi’s Seafood
Hands down, one of SoCo’s best bets for all things from the sea, Willi’s has an extensive offering of raw oysters, with the freshest up on the chalkboard daily. While you’re there, you might as well try one of their lobster rolls as well. Because hey, you’ll need that extra energy for later. Plus, terrific cocktails in a clubby, bistro-like space just begging for a little dinner-time romance. 403 Healdsburg Ave., Healdsburg, 707.433.9191

Sonoma Meritage Restaurant and Oyster Bar
A bounty of seafood in Sonoma. Try the Drunken Angry Hog, a martini made with pepper vodka, a Hog Island oyster and spicy Mary float. 165 W. Napa St., Sonoma, 707.938.9430.

Rocker Oysterfeller’s
Take a romantic drive out to Valley Ford and the newly renovated Valley Ford Hotel and Rocker Oysterfeller’s Kitchen and Saloon. The restaurant uses local, seasonal foods (like the nearby Tomales Bay Oysters), but gives many of the menu items a Southern twang. Plus, rooms upstairs are a very reasonable $100-$165 per night. 14415 Coast Hwy. 1, Valley Ford. 707.876.1983.

Bouchon
Belly up to the bar, where a vast variety of oysters on the half-shell twinkle at you tauntingly. A favorite after hours haunt (ie: it’s open late) of Yountville chefs and other notable locals, you’re likely to find a little romance, should you hold be looking. Want to win over that cutie at the table next to yours? Order the Grand Plateau, which includes a lobster, 16 oysters, shrimp, clams and a variety of other sea-going goodies. Worth every bit of $85. 6534 Washington St., Yountville, 707.944.8037.

Go Fish
Not just for sushi, Cindy Pawlcyn’s new fish-focused restaurant has a bean oyster bar. Build your own shellfish platter with Fanny Bay, Royal Miyagi or Quilcene oysters, plus clams, prawns and lobster. Plus, and amazing wine and sake list. See BiteClub’s recent review. 641 Main St., St. Helena, 707.963.0700.

Got a tip, or just wanna talk food? Email me!

I have never turned down a good cocktail. Or even a mediocre one. So, when Mary’s Pizza Shack announced that it recently sold its 10,000th Pomegranate Martini my Happy Hour alarm went off. Ding.

Mary’s (you may be surprised to find out) has two full-bar Shacks in SoCo–Rohnert Park and Sonoma. As in more than just beer and wine with your pizza.

So, in the name of research, we headed to Rohnert Park and promptly ordered several of their signature “Shacktinis”.

The flagship and top-seller is the Pomegranate Martini, made with Ketel One vodka, lemon and lime juice, pomegranate syrup and a splash of Gloria Ferrer champagne. Folks in the town of Sonoma seem to love them, having quaffed 10,000-plus in two years. They’ve also bestowed several awards on the ‘tini at their annual Martini Madness Festival. Remind me to visit there more often.

I can see the attraction. Though oddly pale (a light yellow, rather than the dark pink you might expect from a pomegranate cocktail), drink-wise, the Pom-tini isn’t bad. I’ve had better. I’ve had worse. It ranks somewhere in the middle, though it’s sheer stopping power is laudable. Drink two and you’ll be on the floor.

Along with the Pomegranate are several other Shacktinis, including the Washington Apple (made with Crown Royal, Apple Pucker and cranberry) and the Metropolitini (made with Ketel One, Cointreau, black currant syrup and champagne).

Yes, they’re all a bit sweet. And entirely girly. And $7.50 each. But having a stiff cocktail with your meatball sandwich and extra-large pepperoni**? Priceless.

Mary’s Pizza Shack, 101 Golf Course Dr, Rohnert Park, 707.585.3500

*Mr. BiteClub thinks it is ridiculous to call anything other than gin and dry vermouth a martini. However, if it is served in a martini glass, he will usually drink it. Begrudgingly. I however, have no such hang-ups.

**Good eats, or martini haze? The gorgonzola gnocchi was really good. Especially warmed up at 3am.

Got a tip, or just want to talk food? Email me at biteclub@pressdemo.com

Nothing says “I love you, baby,” like a big box of chocolates. Except, of course, telling her she looks slimmer after eating all of them.

So, in honor of St. Valentine’s Day (and the need for the aforementioned chocolates), BiteClub canvassed the chocolate meccas of Sonoma County for the best bets in cocoa bliss–for every budget.

La Dolce V
Surround yourself in confectionary delight at Sebastopol’s only Chocolate Café. Big spenders can shower their sweeties with bon-bons filled with forbidden fruits, sultry spices, fragrant flowers and luscious libations–like the 24-piece Aphrodite Collection ($34.95). Of more modest means? Take your lover for a glass of French-spiced hot chocolate in the salon, or for one of the weekly chocolate fondue nights. La Dolce V, 110 North Main St., Sebastopol.

Patisserie Angelica
Nipples of Venus, Cardinal Sin cake and ‘Better than Sex’ Chocolate fudge. You pretty much can’t go wrong at this Sebastopol bakery. Pair with a little something from Victoria’s Secret, and, let’s just say you’ll be whistling a happy tune until next week. Patisserie Angelica, 6821 Laguna Park Way, Sebastopol, 707.827.7998.

Hearts Desire
Chocolate and wine might just be better than oysters this holiday. Grab a tin of three truffles infused with local wines–Zinfandel, Merlot and Cabernet. Heart’s Desire Chocolates, 101 Golf Course Drive, Suite C8, Rohnert Park, 707.585.7673.

Whole Foods
Score! Imported French chocolates from renowned chocolatier Michel Cluizel. A 16-piece truffle selection will run you about $12. And impress the pants off your date (which is pretty much what you were going for). Want to spice things up? Whole Foods also carries a selection of Vosges Haute Chocolate candy bars infused with spices like curry, cardamom and chipotle. You rascal, you. Santa Rosa and Sebastopol locations.

Trader Joe’s
A yard of chocolate for $3.99? Yes, it’s true. Joe’s has tons of adorably-wrapped Belgian, French and American confections at a bargain price. Just tear off the holiday bows (on some of them), and ignore the “Best By” dates of January. It’s the thought that counts, right?

MORE CHOCOLATE FUN

Cooking with Love, Aphrodisiac Ingredients
Red wine and chocolate braised Sonoma Duck, along with a variety of other passion-inducing dishes will be cooked by Chef Mark Stark (of Willi’s Wine Bar fame) served in Bella Winery’s romantic candlelit cave. Not that we’re suggesting you adjourn to the vineyards afterward for a little post-dinner nookie–but, you know, you could. Call Relish Culinary School for details and availability, 707.431.9999.

Healdsburg Chocolate Walk
Take a guided tour in search of all things chocolate around Wine Country’s most charming town. Just think, you’re walking off all those calories! Click here for details.

COPIA’s Death By Chocolate Festival Weekend
Chocolate tasting, demos, wine pairings and more tasting. Learn to make your own truffles, hobnob with chocolatiers and stuff your face with the candy of the gods. Saturday 2/17 and Sunday 2/18. www.copia.org

Rodney Strong’s Wine and Chocolate Fantasy
Wine and chocolate pairing February 10th from 1-4pm.

Hawaiians are a hungry people, apparently.

That’s the only explanation I can come up with for anyone purposely eating a plate of beef patties smothered in gravy, topped with a fried egg. And it’s the only possible reason for even attempting to finish a two-pound order of fried chicken cutlets with two scoops of rice and macaroni salad. Not to mention spam wrapped in seaweed.

Welcome to the islands, and Ohana Hawaiian BBQ.

Though it’s not for every taste (or waistline), BiteClub counts itself as a fan of aloha cooking “the quirky Hawaiian mix of Chinese, Japanese and, our own American fascination with all things fried. In few other cultures can you find a menu with sushi, BBQ, deep fried chicken curry and a double cheese gravy burger.

No complaints, mind you. Just sheer astonishment at the bounty of artery-clogging deliciousness.

So, okay, loosen your belt and come on in to Santa Rosa (and now Petaluma’s) taste of the Islands. Best bets: Chicken Katsu (a deep fried, breaded chicken cutlet) with curry; Hawaiian BBQ chicken and, for the more adventurous, Loco Moco (the aforementioned beef, gravy and eggs) and Spam Musubi (think grilled Spam sushi).

All entrees are served with heaping helpings of sticky white rice and creamy macaroni salad. Be assured your daily allowance of carbs will be satisfied for a year or more.

A few lighter options are available, but come on, you’re here to eat like a Hawaiian. Just come hungry.

Ohana Hawaiian BBQ, 2150 Santa Rosa Ave, Santa Rosa, 707.571.8882.
Also in Petaluma, 205 S. McDowell Blvd., 707.766.8282.

Being a football fan is rough work, what with all that yelling and screaming at the television. It works up a powerful appetite. One that’s far bigger than mere clam dip and Ruffles.

So, forgo the easy chair and Fritos this weekend. We’ve got the region’s best spots to hang out this Superbowl Sunday. Places where you can quell your raging hunger, drink a beer and watch televisions larger than your refrigerator. Places with nice, fat hamburgers, piles of fries and, did we mention, beer? Lots of beer. How could you go wrong?

Top Pick: Ausiello’s 5th St. Grill
With 17 televisions and a full bar, this is every fan’s dream spot. They’ll be catering to Superbowl watchers on Sunday, with a complementary food spread, free T-shirts and plenty of beer on tap. Stretch your legs at the outside patio, where you can eat, drink and let your pasty face get a few rays. Throughout the day, the grill will be fired up, serving the restaurant’s regular menu. Don’t miss the Lava Love burger, a big beefy hamburger with bacon, Swiss cheese and sweet-spicy BBQ sauce. 609 5th St, Santa Rosa, 707.579.9408

Top Pick: John & Zeke’s Bar
Complementary half-time buffet with tri-tip sandwiches and chili. The friendliest place in Wine Country. 111 Plaza Street, Healdsburg, 707.433.3735.

Third Street Ale Works
Superbowl and Sunday sliders–mini burgers sold four for $5. 610 3rd St., Santa Rosa 707-523-3060

Russian River Brewing Co.
Pizza, beer and football. This Sunday, all-day drink specials: $2.75 for 16-ounce pints. After the game, stick around for live music. 725 4th St., Santa Rosa, 707.545.2337

Sebastopol Brewing Co.
A bacon-cheeseburger for you. A peanut-butter-and-jelly burger for your littlest sports fan. Plus pasta, salads and beer brewed on-site. Featuring happy hour specials throughout the day. 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol, 707.823.SUDS

Beyond the Glory
Buffalo wings, mozzarella sticks, fried zucchini and all manner of batter-dipped and fried delights. Plus 14, 42-inch plasma screen TV’s. Your husband may never come home. 1371 N McDowell Boulevard, Suite 130, Petaluma, 866.377.7389

Antique malls aren’t supposed to smell this good.

But wafting around the crackling tables, old silverware and miscellaneous history piled up around the Sebastopol Antique Society are warm scents of butter, lemon, ricotta and all manner of things delicious.

They’re coming from the mall’s newest resident, Sfoglia. Having opened for business in the former Dolce V space just a few weeks ago, the tiny Italian bakery is easily overlooked by drivers whizzing down Gravenstein Highway–which is just fine, for those of us in-the-know. We don’t need them filling up our seats and eating our puff pastry, anyway.

And the most delightful puff pastry it is. The namesake Sfogliatella is a triangle of impossibly thin layers of crackling, buttery goodness, filled with ricotta cheese and orange zest. It may possibly bring you to tears.

Nestled in the cold case are rows of lemon and chocolate tartlets–tiny pies delicately supported by crumbly, light shortbread ill-advised for eating in the car (my stained pants as testimony). A warm sausage tart, filled with tomatoes, cheese and herbs was quite possibly the best thing I’ve eaten in weeks. I kid you not.

But that’s hardly the full extent of baker Patrick Lum’s talents. The former Mezzaluna baker (he is currently pastry chef at Sassafras in Santa Rosa) also offers up biscotti, grilled pannini, pizzetta, focaccia along with coffee and espresso from 10am through the afternoon.

Wander by and chances are good that you’ll find something fresh out of the oven. It’s easy enough to find. Just follow your nose.

Sfoglia, 2661 Gravenstein Highway South, Sebastopol, 707.829.5721 Inside the Sebastopol Antique Society.

CLOSED
They say you can never go home, but sometimes homesteads past come to you. Reeking of garlic.
Portland-based Pizzicato Pizza recently opened a small outpost in the new Whole Foods shopping plaza in Petaluma. A favorite lunchtime nosheria of my old hometown, Pizzicato is the place for a gourmet slice and a salad.
Splitting the difference between Marin’s CPK (where mango and baby eggplant pizzas are de rigeur) and your average corner pizzeria, Pizzicato offers up the standards (sausage, cheese, pepperoni) along with a few creative takes–like a roasted rosemary red potato and Prosciutto pizza; the Bianca, with spinach, sausage walnuts and Gorgonzola, or a shrimp Thai pizza. All with a thin, crispy crust.
Salads, here, are given top-billing as well. The massively-garlicky Caesar will easily stink up your car for a week–just from your breath. You can make a meal from the Chinese Chop or Arugula Pear (with candied walnuts), or size-down to a side Greek or ‘Insalata Mista’ with chevre, onions, walnuts and baby lettuce.
And, because pizza is best enjoyed in the comfort of your big screen TV, preferably with a beer, Pizzicato offers half-baked pizzas for take-out. Pop ’em in the oven for a final crisping, and you’re ready to pig out.
Get a taste of Pizzicato at their grand opening fete on Feb. 13 from 2 to 9pm, with free samples of pizza and salads. Tell them the girl from Portland sent you.
Pizzicato Pizza, 615 E. Washington St., Petaluma, 707.762.2216. Open daily for lunch, dinner and takeout.

I had high hopes. Really high hopes. The local buzz on Risibisi, Petaluma’s newest Cal-Italian eatery is good. Headed up by Chef Fabio Flagiello (formerly of Il Fornaio) and his charming front-of-the-house partner, Marco Palmieri, the small restaurant has been packed since its opening with fans of the wine bar and downtown bistro.

It’s a swell idea, really. Lots of exposed brick, funky music, light, flavorful riffs on Northern Italian dishes with a meaty wine list featuring the best of Italy, as well as California and a few French wines thrown in for good measure.

And certainly, there is plenty of potential on the menu, which changes up frequently to reflect what’s in season. Risotto is the restaurant’s namesake dish (Risi e bisi means rice and peas), there’s the requisite fritto misto (fried calamari shrimp and artichokes) and a handful of pasta dishes make for a solid lineup.

But can Risibisi ultimately deliver?

BiteClub ended up walking away from last night’s dinner unconvinced. The duck entree (served with black grapes and pearl onions on a bed of pancetta) was dry, dry, dry, and colder than the plate it was served on. The risotto, served with a portion of lobster tail was bland and the peas lacked much luster. The appetizer of grilled calamari, scallops, shrimp, arugula and tomatoes was uninspiring (and the mealy tomatoes clearly way out of season).

Adding insult to injury, our server seemed far from comfortable with the wine list, offering up, uh, a bottle of Chianti and bringing us white wine glasses with our red wine. Call me less than overwhelmed. Especially when my wallet ended up $100-plus lighter at the end of the night. Ouch.

Dessert was a late bright spot, a spoon-tiramisu served up in a martini glass. Lots of creamy mascarpone, tasty little chocolate shavings and nicely-soaked ladyfingers. You pretty much can’t go wrong with feeding your date cream and chocolate.

But it takes more than mascarpone (not much, but a little) to stay in business. Ultimately, the space and the vibe, along with the experience of the chef, make for strong potential in Petaluma. Locals love the Big Night promise of this bootstrapping Italian newcomer. But good faith only lasts so long.

Time to deliver.

Risibisi, 154 Petaluma Blvd. North, Petaluma, 707.766.7600. (Best bet; try the $12 prix-fixed lunch menu)