My obsession was so great, I braved San Francisco’s Westfield mall on Black Friday for a Beard Papa cream puff.

Apparently, 70 bizilllion other people had the same obsession, judging by a line that wrapped for miles. I left puffless. But not disappointed.

Since its opening, food geeks (like me, and maybe you, too) have been dumbstruck over the wonderland that is the Westfield Mall. You’ll know us by the look of incredulousness as we stand, blocking all foot traffic, drooling quietly on our holiday sweaters.

What’s the big deal? First off, the food court, which features waaaay-upscale versions of Thai, Japanese, Mexican and burgers. And the famed Slanted Door is set to open a take-out soon. Obviously, this ain’t your usual mall grease-o-rama.

Add to that a huge indoor farm-market/gourmet food store (Bristol Farms). Gently layer upon that an artisinal chocolate shop that could bring you to tears with its preciousness (Cocoa Bella). Plus, a French style bakery , a gawk-inducing fusion Asian restaurant (Straits), a Lark Creek Kitchen spinoff, a luxe sandwich shop (‘wichcraft) and a gourmet Mexican eatery (ie: no chimchangas).

And of course, there are the cream puffs. A recent import from Japan, Beard Papa is a sort of fast-food style bakery serving up light, airy pate a choux filled with vanilla, green tea or chocolate pastry cream. Suffice to say, I was covered in a blanket of powdered sugar, cream and crumbs by the time I left. They’re that good.

So make the excuse that you’re going into the city for some holiday shopping. Just make sure to wipe off all the crumbs before you get home. I won’t tell your secret.

Westfield Mall, 865 Market St., San Francisco

Tuesday is the confirmed date (4pm) for Upper Fourth’s opening and BiteClub got a sneak peak at the swank new digs.
The vibe is less hipster lounge, and more of a sleek, uptown jazz bar with plenty of big leather seats, low tables and a promise that the music will be kept low enough to let folks have a conversation without screaming in each other’s ears.

There are two reserved rooms for guests looking for a more intimate atmosphere, with the main lounge large enough to accomodate a decent-sized crowd without having to get uncomfortably up close and personal with other guests.

A massive onyx bar dominates the room, serving cocktails, wine and beer. Lounge snacks (think heavy hors d’oevres) will also be offered (no menu yet).

Oddly enough, co-owners Molly Gallaher and Ivan Richard (both in their 20s) aren’t even their own demographic. The two hope to attract a more sedate 35-50s crowd looking for a mellow, more upscale vibe.

For now the down-tempo music will mostly come through the club’s speakers, though Gallaher says they hope to have some live acoustic guitar or jazz in the near future. There’s also no dance floor, so you’ll have to get your freak on elsewhere. That, or just sit back, chill out and leave the freaking to someone else for a change.

Upper Fourth, 96 Old Courthouse Square, Second Floor.573.0522

It’s so tantilizingly close. A new bar in the SR.

Word on the street is that the bar, located above Flavor Bistro in downtown Santa Rosa, may open this month. There were even rumors of Dec. 1, but I still don’t have a Manhattan in my hand, so I’ll hold my breath for another week or so.

The spot is said to be posh and upscale, possibly another Barcode-esque experience. But with a view.

John Beck wrote a great piece in Santa Rosa magazine about the couple planning the bar and their vision for a swank new nightspot. Read it here

Meet you at happy hour. Soon, I hope.

Marin’s favorite hamburger is headed for Santa Rosa. A sign on the former Heavenly Hamburger restaurant on Route 12 says that the burger joint will soon open in that spot.

Well-loved in counties south, the burgers are giant, juicy monsters that have lines wrapped round the block. Plus, ciabatti burgers, cheesesteak. And fries. Delightful fries. Should Mike’s be worried? Time will tell.

Just know BiteClub will be the first in line.

Love burgers? Check out my Best Burgers blog

Wanna sound off, or send me a tip?

Adding to its urban-meets-rural cache, Napa’s tony Carneros Inn recently opened its second restaurant, FARM. The popular Boon Fly Cafe, which easily swayed locals with its casual brunches and upscale roadhouse dining, has been open since 2004.

Now heading the two kitchens is Executive Chef Kimball Jones, a former sous-chef at SR’s Campton Place with Bradley Ogden. Be impressed. Having also done a stint at Wente Vineyards, Jones has the Wine Country thing down cold, while bringing some urban glitz to the table.

With more name-dropping than a Paris Hilton cellphone conversation (Redwood Hills, Liberty Duck, Sonoma Direct Lamb, Fulton Chicken, Pozzi), FARM is all about giving props to “the bounty of the Carneros and surrounding farmers and ranches.” Um, most of which (judging by the sample menu I saw) come from the western reaches of Sonoma County. Call it Carneros-adjacent.

Regardless, the menu looks solid. Among the sample dishes (which of course change frequently, so don’t get your hopes up too high) were a butternut squash-apple soup with Chanterelles and fried sage; Redwood Hills Goat Cheese potato terrine; Ahi tuna tartare (yawn); Liberty Duck with Katz honey, lemon and thyme; Mishima Ranch Wagyu Coulotte Steak, Fulton chicken with oven roasted apples, onions and fingerling potatoes with mushroom giblet sauce.

At $24-$32 per entree, the price point is clearly in line with Napa’s high-end restaurant scene and may prove a bit spendy for locals. But nestled deep within the Carneros compound, its likely that visitors will be the bread-and-butter of the Plumpjack empire’s newest restaurant.

Along with a few of us Carneros-adjacent folks.

FARM, 4048 Sonoma Highway, Napa, 707.299.4900

Thanksgiving hangover? Yeah, me too. But here are some tasty morsels I’ve been saving up.

2 Crows
Michele Jordan and I stumbled on 2 Crows (9890 Bodega Highway, Sebastopol), the re-opened roadhouse between Sebastopol and Bodega Bay just about the same time–as it was opening. She’s got some details here in a recent article she wrote.

I stopped in a couple weeks ago to check out the menu…which is simple and straightforward (nothing fancy here, mostly sandwiches and the like), and will likely attract locals and ocean-goers looking for a nice warm cup of coffee and some pastries.

60 minute savior
No matter where you stand on the Rachel love-hate-o-meter, her recipes do come in handy from time to time. Inspired by her 60-minute Thanksgiving, I churned out some tasty Stuffin-Muffins and Herb Turkey breasts for a last-minute save of the family meal. And, I’m not the only one who loves her.

Fast Food Nation
After seeing the flick, I’m seriously considering becoming a vegan.Okay, I’m done. However, many of the gory meat-processing scenes in the movie put me off my chow until, er, I had a big fat steak later that same evening. One big question, however: What’s with all the gratuitous product placement? I honestly thought this would be a movie with a message. But not about buying linens on Overstock.com. Yuck.

Mark your calendars
Coming up Thursday:
– Dining out for Life: Eat out for a cause. On Thursday night, 25% of your food bill goes to Food for Thought, the Sonoma County AIDS Food Bank. Find out who’s participating and how you can get involved.
– John Scharffenberger is at Copperfield’s Books in Montgomery Village at 7pm to discuss his new book, The Essence of Chocolate. Yum.

Stilton Alert
After a weekend in Oregon wine country, where I tasted some amazing Stilton, I’ve been on a mad hunt throughout the Bay area for something to match the chunk from Portland’s renowned Provvista. I grabbed a nice hunk at Cowgirl Creamery in the Ferry Building on Saturday from Neal’s Yard (a British creamery).
So, here’s the weird discovery–Stilton French Toast. Leftover Acme bread, sliced up and dipped in egg. Fry up and top and melt over the top a wee bit of Stilton. Syrup? But of course. Would you DARE try it? Trust me. It’s delish.

Sel du Whole Foods
Among the changes, additions at the Santa Rosa Whole Foods, a collection of unique sea salts from around the globe, in an array of hues and textures. Check them out at the cheese counter.

More soon.

You had one job. Bring the pie.
And you forgot, didn’t you?

Okay, don’t panic. BiteClub is here to help-

Best bet: Mom’s Apple Pie
Chance of actually getting one: Dream the impossible dream.
For you sorry slackers, Mom is staying up late Wednesday and opening early Thanksgiving morning. And these are, without a doubt, the biggest, baddest, yummiest fruit pies in town. Now, here’s the deal, there will only be a few non-reserved pies available, so you’ll need to get there bright and early. Doors open at 9am, and its purely first-come, first-serve-so get your pie-shoving elbows sharpened.
Mom’s Apple Pie: 4550 Gravenstein Hwy. North, Sebastopol, 707.823.8330

Solid second choice: Marie Callender’s
Chance of actually getting one: Good
Here’s the inside scoop: Marie’s got a whole back-room full of pies just waiting for last-minute folks to swoop in on Thursday morning looking for pumpkin, apple and, well, any of the dozens of pies they make every day. They won’t reserve pies, but we’re assured that there’s plenty of pumpkin. Again, go early.
Marie Callender’s : 2460 Mendocino Avenue, Santa Rosa, 707.547.0747

In a pinch: Kozlowski’s Fruit Pies
Chance of actually getting one: Fair
Pecan-crumb top made right here in Sonoma County. You can find them at Pacific Market (Santa Rosa), Fiesta (Sebastopol) , Big John’s (Healdsburg) and Oliver’s (Santa Rosa).

Not bad for a supermarket: Whole Foods
Chance of actually getting one: Fair to good
Of all the supermarkets, Whole Foods’ pumpkin pie is actually pretty dang good. Nice and spicy, rich, and with a crumbly, rich crust. Quite possibly better than homemade. At least when some of you are cooking.
Whole Foods: 1181 Yulupa, Santa Rosa; 6910 McKinley, Sebastopol; 621 E. Washington, Petaluma

It’s 2pm and I seriously can’t find a pie: Safeway-but grab some whipping cream
Chance of actually getting one: Good
I honestly can’t begrudge Safeway’s bakery. They make a solid bagel. They’re even doing some cute little gourmet treats these days. So, if you find yourself stuck, grab a pumpkin pie and some fresh whipping cream. No, not the stuff in the can. The stuff that’s in a carton. Whip it up, add some sugar, a little cinnamon and plop it on the pie liberally. It will cover a multitude of sins. Even the fact that you forgot the pie.
Safeway: Multiple locations

PS: Where you won’t get a pie, cake or anything else? Michelle Marie’s Patisserie (yeah, I was thinking of getting one there, too) is closed on Thanksgiving

He smokes. He drinks. He cusses. He once ate a still-beating Cobra heart. And suffice to say that his after 2am antics are, uh, legendary in the foodie world.

If ever a chef approached rock-star status, Anthony Bourdain…well, he’d probably give them a good smack down and spit in their food. (Of Jamie Oliver, the babeish ‘Naked Chef’, Bourdain once said, “That guy is neither naked nor a chef.” Ouch.)

Once the venerated chef of New York’s Les Halles (and the best-seller Kitchen Confidential), Bourdain has all but given up his chef’s whites to travel the world in search of food, trouble (you can see his show ‘No Reservations’ on the Travel Channel)…and fawning fans.

Tonight, Bourdain graces Sonoma to regale a sold-out audience with tales of eating and excess in his contribution to the new collection of chef essays, ‘How I Learned to Cook’.

If you can’t make the show, don’t worry. Chances are Bourdain will be searching out pig snouts, chicken feet or some other equally strange delicacy around our parts well into the wee hours of the morning. At least, we hope so. (Tony, feel free to call me. Anytime.)

Anthony Bourdain: 7pm, Andrews Hall, 276 E. Napa St., Sonoma
$5, EVENT SOLD OUT, but a limited number of tickets available at the door.

Good judgment can be such a burden. At least that’s what I hear.

Unrestrained by such things, my going 30 miles for a crab sandwich seemed like a perfectly sensible thing to do on a Wednesday afternoon…
…in the beating rain
…while I was supposed to be at work
…at speeds which may have, at one point or two, exceeded the legal limit.

Because (and here is where I justify everything) it was the first day of Dungeness Crab season.

Destination: Spud Point Crab Co.

Why bother? Mounds of hand-picked, feathery light crab piled onto a warm French roll, slathered with Thousand-island (ish) dressing. Fresh crab cakes. Eating chowder on the docks among hundreds of colorful crab pots while fishermen literally run to their boats in the opening days of the season.

Suddenly, thirty miles suddenly doesn’t seem quite so far. Or so crazy.

Spud Point Crab Company: 1860 Westshore Road, Bodega Bay, 707.875.9472. Open 8am to 5pm, 7 days a week