Bacon Milkshake at Jack in the Box

“Not as gross as it sounds” is rarely a ringing endorsement for food. But it takes some convincing to get most folks to give Jack in the Box’s new, limited edition Bacon Milkshake a try.

It’s exactly what it sounds like: Torani Bacon flavored syrup + vanilla milkshake = Bacon Milkshake. There is no actual bacon involved in the shake, making it (ostensibly) vegetarian. Depending on how much you’re willing to bend your lifestyle choices or drag yourself onto the bacon! bandwagon again.

Part of an excessively creepy seasonal promotion for bacon-tastic foods at JIB, the Bacon Milkshake is off-menu, meaning you’ll have to know about it to order. Kind of like In-N-Out’s secret menu. Which means part of the fun of ordering this abomination is the look you’ll get from the person behind the counter.

Jack in the Box, Dutton & Sebastopol Roads, 5:45pm. Children cringing in car, embarrassed.
Me: “Bacon Milkshake please?”
Jack in the Box Employee: <Pause, moment of confusion, smile> “You’re the first person to ask for that.”
Me: “Really?”
Jack in the Box Employee: “Yeah. No one else has asked for one. Have you had it yet?”
Me: “Not yet!” <Gleeful hand clapping>
JIB Employee: “Okay. We have them.” <Says something inaudible to fellow employee I’m assuming went something like, “What’s with these people?” or “That’s about the last thing she needs on those thighs.” Or possibly, “Can you hurry up with those fries?”>
Me, eagerly leaning in to hear: “So, I hear these are super limited edition. So, like are you going to run out when the syrup is gone? I heard that. That’s the rumor.”
JIB Employee: “Uh, no, we just order more.”
Me: “Oh.”

At 771 calories (or so), they’re strangely addictive. We sucked down the first one in about 10 minutes flat. I needed another. For testing purposes, of course.

Jack in the Box, Farmer’s Lane, 12:45pm

Me: “Three Bacon Milkshakes please?”
JIB Employee #2: “<Pause, moment of confusion, smile> “How many?”
Me: “Three.”
JIB Employee #2: “Three?”
Me: “Three! Yes.”
<Pause>
Me: “Have you had many people order them yet?”
JIB Employee #2: “Um. Not really.”

Apparently less of a mad rush for these bad boys than I anticipated. Where’s the sense of adventure?

The Takeaway? Fellow employees are wonderful guinea pigs. We realized that, first off, the smell is somewhere between Beggin’ Strips and real bacon. If you get any of it on your clothes, hands, car, mustache, etc. you will regret it for the rest of the day. Possibly longer. They have around 771 calories, so it’s not a small investment to your daily intake. On the other hand, the taste is kind of like eating a maple syrup waffle with bacon. It’s sweet, smoky and kinda alright.

Overall, they’re not bad. They’re not great. Five out of six Press Democrat newsroom employees agree.